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MutedSith
MutedSithLv34yr
2020-11-01 11:39

The Fan-Fic had great world building and drive, but there wasn’t enough details to fill in most of the plot holes, the chapters weren’t long enough and the character development was terrible.

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Demiurge_Ohara
Demiurge_OharaLv12

Writing Quality- 2 stars Stability of updates- 3 stars Story Development- 2stars Character design - 2 World background- 2 The grammar is bad, spelling is so-so. Barely readable unless you double check. The author needs to practice about English vocabulary and download Grammarly to further improve your story. Stability of updates is so-so or wreck. Sometimes there's an update, sometimes not. Now for the story development. The Character improvements isn't even written and to much unnecessary information dump is being written. Wasting a lot of space and the time skip is just horrible as a lot of potential wasted and he didn't do anything productive besides relying on luck. At least he use common sense. All the characters from jojo and his minions are nerfed. Wisdom and Intellect wise. The interaction feels force coupled with horrendous grammar made my eyes itch. Character design. I don't wanna talk about it. It's no different from your mediocre Gamer fic coupled with Cliché ness and kinda naive. Then again. He doesn't have much problem. World background. He written... well... nothing. No political talking nor architecture and culture etc. Its basically nonexistent alonf with confusing tyime skip that has no excuses leave a lot of conundrum. There's more of it but im to lazy to write. Now. The Jojo world isn't powerful because of their Raw power. Rather its because of their Intellect that have such imagination along with their analytical mind made them them. The Mc isn't that smart nor wise on my opinion. Rather an arrogant man filled with arrogance because of his power. Forgetting the fact that several weaker stands can cause him trouble or kill him at all. He act high and mighty and all. Plot is nonexistent. Not different from the original. There are more I want to talk but my fingers are tired pleasuring my phone as it vibrate you see. Ps : If you found something wrong in my comment please do say something and please make it believable or something like that. I lost quite a lot of brain cells whenever I encounter blabbering fan boys. ( not this mind you. ) And i see potential yet the execution is just... horrendous. Also don't delete this otherwise how'd you improve?

Cerberusuper
CerberusuperLv14
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4.2
25 Chs