Review Detail of SirDemiLich in [.Dropped.]

Hi! Author here leaving an honest review. I want to improve my writing because I knew this is mediocre and I want to make it better. I use too much exposition and find that I can’t write good conversations. there will probably be a lot of inconsistencies because as much as I try to note down all of the information that I use (seriously I have like 16 pages of notes for like the first 30-40 chapters) I will inevitably forget something. Pls give your suggestions on how I should improve, I take criticism well so do your worst. (P.S I will write a chapter ever 1-2 weeks and I should have around 2k words per chapter, no promises to either of those though *teehee*)