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herbert
herbertLv144yr
2020-08-14 11:39

I've noticed that the author has fallen into a "writing trap". It is very common for newer authors to get caught in a trap called summarizing. Instead of reading this fan-fic like a story, the reader is forced to read a "summary" of the story. Things like details are extremely important when writing, and can help fend off the summary-like atmosphere this story gives.

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WiLeYBiGhEaD
WiLeYBiGhEaDLv13

Above average and entertaining, but not what you may expect and not for me. I have tried picking up this novel twice and have become disinterested twice (read until zou). It is well written for a fanfic without glaring grammer issues and the story takes a unique spin on the one peice world which is not easy given how many fanfics there are for it. However the author chose to wuxia the one peice world which always felt out of place to me. i.e. new power levels like emporer realm and saint realm are totally unnecessary in a world that has a very clearly defined power structure(especially when the author chooses to use both power structures to explain eachother when one is already enough). The other reason i became disinterested is the inconsistency of the mc’s power levels and the mc’s deus ex machina abilities. One chapter he is stronger than vice admirals but weaker than admirals and can barely hold his own. Then a few chapters later he is able to hold back 3 admirals, sengoku, and Garp without and power increase? The same with his abilities, which are just introduced when the author needs them, like healing, mind manipulation, increased gravity, etc, followed by a sentence how he learned that ability long ago but didnt use it because he didnt want to or was unable to yet. He recently told his crew about increasing his abilities through exotic DNA which they should not understand at all. DNA is known as the lineage factor in one peice and is something both new and not known to common people. It is the whole premise for the vinsmoke family arc, but his crew just casually understand this because they need to for the story. Overall, i enjoyed much of this story and many will not be bothered by what i mentioned. But for me the repetative deus ex machina moments for the mc have dulled any tension or interest i had.

INeedRest
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