webnovel
Scott_Crosswhite
Scott_CrosswhiteLv24yr
2020-01-24 09:28

I love magic and fantasy stories and almost exclusively read them. The writing is good except for typos and missing words here and there. I really like that the main themes of the story are introduced right away and that the main character herself has allot that she thinks about and tells the reader, this makes for a good first person narrative and is something really important that was captured very well. The passing is very fast throughout the beginning jumping you around just a little bet getting to the main part of the story, this is good for people that like to just dive right in but I think a little more time could still be spent on this time lapse ish part.

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies1
DarkElven6
DarkElven6Author

Sorry for the typos and grammar. I write a lot on my phone at night and autocorrect hates this. I am working on updating existing chapters with a word processor to make it easier to read. Thank you for the review! I was afraid for the most part about the jumps I had to do, but you have given me confidence that I made the right decision.

Other Reviews
Related Stories

Guide to tame my villainous husbands

Sequel to Guide to raise my cutie husbands. Mo Qiang, an architect was chosen by the fairy of nature who brought her to the world of interstellar where she was punished to revive the nature that she has destroyed with her own hands while creating architecture that she thought was paving way for the future. Now, stuck with a nature-reviving system in a world full of poisonous gases and intergalactic stuff where she has to start from the very beginning and plant more forest and crops while creating a liveable world for the humans, Mo Qiang was suffering. But it sounds easy right? No! In her path she has three villainous husbands, all three of them want to kill her such that they will be able to marry her capable sister after kicking her away who was trashy and good for nothing. Mo Qiang has nothing against them, in fact, she is more than willing to divorce them after securing her life and raising her favourability in their hearts such that they will not kill her but —— Why are they coming for her now? Hello, you all wanted to marry her sister right? Excerpt: “ Here you go,” said Mo Qiang as she pushed the divorce agreement looking at her first husband who was gentle but poisonous like a snake. “ I have already signed the document of our divorce, you can take a look —-wait, why are you taking your clothes off?” The mer looked at her and smiled gently as he took off his glasses and said, “ Looks like my wife is not happy with me not giving birth to our child, don’t worry I will work hard tonight.” Mo Qiang: “…..” I do not want you to work hard! Take second! “ Take this and sign it,” said Mo Qiang, this time more fiercely as she looked at her second husband who was reading a script for his film. “ I am sure you want to divorce me right? I have already signed —-woah! What are you putting me on the bed for?” She asked while looking at the gorgeous face. Her second husband stared down at her and with a blank expression and voice as cold as water said, “ I have to practice a love-making scene, help me, dear wife.” Mo Qiang: “……” This movie that you are shooting is based on the Zerg apocalypse, don’t lie to me! With whom are you going to make love with? A Zerg? Take third! “ Huff, huff..this is the divorce agreement, sign it... I know that your company does not allow idols to date so here sign it,” she said to her third husband who was practising his dance moves. The mer who was dressed in a loose silk shirt and sweat dripping down his body took a look at the document that she was handing him and then hugged Mo Qiang. A second later she heard his sniffling voice while he peppered kisses on her neck, “ Wife you do not want me? Is that the new idol who attracted your attention, I knew it! I will take care of him!” “Put down that knife will you!” And why is the third prince of the imperial family who hated her to the bones coming after her with flowers? She already has her hands full! ….

fairytail72 · Fantasy
4.8
1223 Chs

The Devil's Cursed Witch

The tale of a man who brings death and a girl who denies it. ---- On the haunted mountain in the kingdom, they say there lived a witch. She was born a princess. But even before her birth, the priest declared her to be cursed and demanded her death. They poisoned the mother to kill the baby before she gave birth, but the baby was born out of the dead mother—a cursed child. Again and again, they tried to kill the baby but she miraculously survived every single attempt. Giving up, they abandoned her on the haunted mountain to die but she still survived on that barren land— A witch ‘Why won’t she die?’ Years later, the people finally had enough of the witch and decided to burn the mountain. But the Devil arrived to her rescue and took her with him from that burning place, because dying was not her destiny even then. Draven Amaris. The Black Dragon, who ruled over supernatural beings, the Devil who no one wished to cross a path with. He hated humans but this certain human girl would pull him towards her whenever she was in danger. ‘Is she really a human?’ He took the human with him and named this mysteriously tenacious girl “Ember”, a piece of glowing coal in a dying fire. A soul tainted with vengeance and the darkness of hell, would rise from the ashes and fulfil her revenge. ------ This is the second book from the series of The Devils and Witches. 1st book - Witch's daughter and the Devil's son. 3rd book- The Devil's Betrothed. All books are connected to each other but you can read them as stand-alone.

Mynovel20 · Fantasy
4.6
478 Chs

Abyssal Awakening

Having spent her childhood confined in chains, Alice was a child who knew neither love nor joy. Scorned by her family while being tortured in the name of the greater good for years, she grew numb to all feeling and thought. That is, until one day, a man in black offered her a chance to escape. There were once rumours widespread of an endless hell, a land of glorious death and dreadful opportunity. Fools went in search of it, and the clever never ventured into it. Only when its baleful mysteries spilled unto the earth did all hear its name — the Abyss. A single drop of its blood could give someone the power to control shadows, move faster than sound, or strength greater than the strongest man. Yet, it all came at a cost; the blood would always make sure those who consumed it became part of the Abyss, with one exception — Alice. Cast away by her own blood, it was her destiny to rot in a gilded cage. But, that fateful day changed everything. Gifted a second chance at life, a chance to turn her life around and claim vengeance against her family, a chance to dive deep into the Abyss and gain the power to govern her own fate, Alice took his hand, unaware of the destiny unfolding before her. Discord: https://discord.gg/vrdTSkj8Va Author Notes: This is my third book, going to take what I learned from before to improve. This book will be focusing on plot, action, depths of character bonds and overall a darker tone/take on this cruel fantasy world I've cooked up for this book! If you give this book a try, I hope you enjoy! A very different experience and tone to Nanomancer Reborn.

Reili · Fantasy
4.6
540 Chs

Contract Marriage With Alpha Snow

After being betrayed by her fiancé and cousin on her wedding day, Zara, reborn with memories of past mistakes, vows to rewrite her destiny. Impulsively, she marries a stranger to keep her ex at bay, not realizing Snow is far from a mere call boy. Snow Zephyr, a wealthy CEO and alpha of the Ivory Crescent Pack, needs a contract wife to appease his father and secure his position. When a bold, determined woman proposes a marriage of convenience, Snow agrees, unaware of the chaos she will bring into his life. Zara's defiant choice provokes her parents' fury, leading to her being cast from the company and forcing her to find work elsewhere. She lands a job at Aurora Conglomerate Inc., only to discover that her new boss is Snow, the very man she married—and her ex's uncle. Sparks fly as their mutual attraction grows amidst the darkness of his family's secrets and looming threats. Zara’s strength and independence captivate Snow, who begins to see her as the potential Luna his pack needs. Together, they face vengeful ex-lovers, kidnapping plots, and deadly rivalries. As Zara's powers awaken, she must confront the reasons behind her family's disownment, the hidden clauses in her marriage contract, and her ultimate role in Snow’s world. When their marriage of convenience deepens into a genuine partnership, a new challenge emerges in the form of a fated mate. Will Zara fight the dangers that await or embrace her true destiny? **EXCERPT** "I... didn't want to be late for work. You seemed busy, so I thought I'd get a head start." Snow raised an eyebrow. "Really? Or is it because last night affected you so much that you couldn't stand being around me?" "Don't flatter yourself, Snow. You didn't affect me at all." He smirked, stepping closer. "Is that so?" His fingers brushed my chin, tilting my face up. My pulse quickened. "We're at work," I snapped, swatting his hand away. "This isn't professional." "You're my wife," he murmured. "You're supposed to obey me at all times." I bit back a retort, a hint of rebellion flaring within. Slowly, I stepped closer, letting my fingers graze his chest. His smirk wavered for a second when his wolf reacted and Snow bit his lips. "Careful, Boss," I purred seductively. "Don't hurt those lips. I'm sure plenty of girls would love to kiss them." Snow leaned down, his lips brushing my ear. "And you? Are you dying for a taste?" Caught off guard, I hesitated, then regained my composure as I looked him in the eyes. "Unlike other girls, I have strong resistance against—" I didn't get a chance to finish when Snow's lips crashed onto mine with a fierce kiss that left me breathless. *************** MATURE CONTENT Participating in the Viral Book Call Contest. Kindly Support Me!

BaeVida · Fantasy
4.3
216 Chs

I Become Baby Mafia Boss

New book is out: The Beast Tamer Is A Slime ------------ Suddenly becomes a mafia boss in a superpowers world and you are only 3 years old?! Ainsley Sloan, a 20-year-old avid anime lover, suddenly transmigrated into a body of a toddler. The father eloped with a woman, and the mother was just a surrogate mom. The two left behind their 3-years-old baby girl to rule over a mid-sized mafia family! No, this can't be! Ainsley was forced to embrace the abandoned Sloan Family and bring their family to the top of the dangerous mafia world– else she died. But, worry not! With the power of ultimate luck, the help of her loyal subordinates, and the protection of her cats-becoming-human, Ainsley will kick any enemies coming her way! A late encounter with a certain system even paved a flowery path for her. With its help, Ainsley will be the best mafia boss, and an extraordinary one! When other mafia bosses smoke cigarettes, Ain has choco Pocky stuck in her mouth. When other bosses swirl their glass of red wine, Ain blows her cup of hot milk! When other bosses blow their gun after a fight...Ain changes her diaper. Watch the baby take over the mafia world with her unique baby charm! 7 years later. A certain shrewd mini boss: "Ain, how about becoming my fiancee?" The boy five years older than the toddler waved a limited edition BL pillow case as a bribe. A certain system: kiddo, accept his proposal! sucks his money! Wtf you two. Fiancee your a*s!! I'm only 10! PS: If you expect fast-paced bad*ss FL, face-slapping & heroic deed in the first 100 chapters, this book might be not to your taste _____ Ancient/modern setting books: 1. The Dragon Prince's Wife is a Translator (completed)  2. The CEO's Office Boy is a Girl (completed)  Baby protagonist series: 1. I Become Baby Mafia Boss (completed) 2. I Always Become A Baby! (quick transmigration, completed) Dating sim game book: 1. Mr CEO, Move On! (Dropped because of system issue not allowing to update more chapters after accidentally changing book status to completed) Follow my Instagram: @zehell2218 & @willhem_l Discord server: https://discord.gg/axqNyHv

Zehell2218 · Fantasy
4.9
2474 Chs