Review Detail of Hua_Li_An in Dance Between Mortals and Immortals

I've only read the first chapter, but I'll definitely keep reading on. However, since this is an honest review, and I wouldn't review it any other way since I found great potential in it, here goes: Points to consider: -Grammar and Paragraphing: Frankly, there were a lot of problems if we look at it technically. Basically: the lack of commas, repetition of some words, and some wrongly used terms. I've also seen the need to improve the sentencing and the formation of paragraphs. The paragraphs are too long, and usually that's alright if there's only one idea in that block of text. The problem is, there's a lot of info crammed into one big paragraph, and it hurts the eyes to read. -Flow of Story: The general flow is really nice, but the lack of polishing (grammatically) sorts of ruins it for me. -Length: For a Webnovel, the first chapter might be a tad bit too long, and it might have seemed like that too because of the long paragraphs and sentencing. Great points: -The general story is really nice and interesting. The world already seems large and complex, with themes of war going on. I can see the father's love clearly in the text, so a plus point there on characterization. You also tied the ending up nicely with how the father's words in the woods (while hunting) actually foreshadowed the event at the end of the chapter. So, I think that was a nice literary touch. To conclude, "The Errors I Made" is a novel with high potential, yet suffers from its proofreading. I would still continue to read it since I could sense the talent beneath the hastily written words, but I could only hope that it be edited more thoroughly so it can shine a little bit better. In other words, it is a classic example of a diamond in the rough.