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LordSputnik
LordSputnikLv134yr
2019-12-09 01:24

Honest Review Found this one has potential, feels a lot like Sword Art Online. (A very hard to read version of it.) The Good: Character classes are unique and it is nice to see an MC that isn't 100% righteous for once. The Bad: Hard to follow... it jumps around a lot with little to no indication. I found the world setting kind of convoluted and some of the situations to be pointless. It feels like a lot of this is filler content so far because I really only care about Shiro and people he interacts with. The Neutral: Objectively describing someone as "sexy" leaves it open to interpretation, that's not a bad thing by itself, but who thinks it is sexy? (i.e. the observers, the characters, the readers, NPCs?) Maybe I missed it, but why are they stuck in the world? Maybe add a note that senshi = warrior and the significance of it so people don't think "WTF are senshis? Sounds like sushi!" or something like that. (Assuming that is what you meant it to be) Feel free to review back and I'll add you on Line if you would like editing help.

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Shiro_MSFA
Shiro_MSFAAuthor

Hard to follow... it jumps around a lot with little to no indication. I found the world setting kind of convoluted and some of the situations to be pointless. It feels like a lot of this is filler content so far because I really only care about Shiro and people he interacts with. (thank you for taking your time giving a review. but I showed many other character stories because I thought everything would have to do with what would happen in the future. but I highly accept your suggestion. I will try to change the flow of the chapters that I have not made. 50 and above.) The Neutral: Objectively describing someone as "sexy" leaves it open to interpretation, that's not a bad thing by itself, but who thinks it is sexy? (i.e. the observers, the characters, the readers, NPCs?) Maybe I missed it, but why are they stuck in the world? (Well i dont understand with sexy part. lol. but the reason why they are trapped will be explained when a new character appears. Maybe add a note that senshi = warrior and the significance of it so people don't think "WTF are senshis? Sounds like sushi!" or something like that. (Assuming that is what you meant it to be) (i laughed so hard with that sushi. well you right.. but senshi explanation in chapter 28-30.) yes please.. i will very very happy.. my line id is qyo25.

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