Review Detail of skysworn in The Slime Farmer
Review detail
1. The story is filled with an overabundance of details (which is good, but it can be confusing at times) 2. It might be just me, but the scene changes are a bit jarring... (One moment he is talking to a merchant, and the next, he's outside hiding from his sister). (It is also hard to tell who is saying what after the scene skips. There isn't as much context as I would appreciate. It might be on purpose though? 3. Pretty likeable character (although some of the thoughts shown are a bit weird and unreasonable...(he had to remind himself to not have a grudge against his slave/servant for trying to give him the lightest work in the fields). The character thoughts are just a bit weird. I don't know how else to describe it. It isn't necesarily bad though... 4. I don't know how to describe the problem, but it lacks soul. The best comparison I can make is watching a movie without sound. You can tell what is going on, but it's hard to get pulled in and feel with the character. (It can peobably be improved later on though Overall, this novel needs some work, but hass potential. I would recomend you trying it out. (I welcome any criticism on my review. I'm sure that there are things that I might have missed in my reading, and I would love to hear about it)
The Slime Farmer
Jin_Daoran
Liked by 3 people
LIKEReplies2
Thanks for your detailed thoughts on the story!^^ Others have commented on the scene changes. I'm looking into improving them. As for the character's thoughts, on the particular example given, it's not unreasonable to hold a grudge for someone going against your wishes because they think it's for your own good. For example, the frustrations teenagers have with their parents or teachers. But yeah, as someone who has grown up as a noble of a warrior society and who thinks having a better life is leaving it all behind, his thoughts and reasonings are a bit weird for the modern reader. If by 'lacks soul', you mean the inchoate character of the MC, the lack of properly delineated goals and plotlines, the side-characters that seem to only pop up to give dialogue, then I feel you, my friend. This project is undeniably a valuable learning experience. I hope that everyone can go forward together as the story progresses. The reviews of everyone can only help the novel improve.
Jin_Daoran:Thanks for your detailed thoughts on the story!^^ Others have commented on the scene changes. I'm looking into improving them. As for the character's thoughts, on the particular example given, it's not unreasonable to hold a grudge for someone going against your wishes because they think it's for your own good. For example, the frustrations teenagers have with their parents or teachers. But yeah, as someone who has grown up as a noble of a warrior society and who thinks having a better life is leaving it all behind, his thoughts and reasonings are a bit weird for the modern reader. If by 'lacks soul', you mean the inchoate character of the MC, the lack of properly delineated goals and plotlines, the side-characters that seem to only pop up to give dialogue, then I feel you, my friend. This project is undeniably a valuable learning experience. I hope that everyone can go forward together as the story progresses. The reviews of everyone can only help the novel improve.