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Vanishing_Breathe
Vanishing_BreatheLv25yr
2019-10-16 21:06

keep it uppp keep it upppp keep it uppp keep it uppp keep it upppp keep it uppp keep it uppp keep it upppp keep it uppp keep it uppp keep it upppp keep it uppp keep it uppp keep it upppp keep it uppp

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Untuk seorang yang kembali kemasalalu, Mc memiliki mentalitas yang buruk. Terutama pada bagian dimana Mc banyak omong kosong saat bertarung, bagi mereka yang memiliki banyak pengalaman hidup dan mati, sangat konyol melihat Mc yang melakukan tindakan idiot disaat pertempuran. Bahkan olah raga lari ringan membutuhkan metode pernafasan yang tepat untuk menjaga stamina, tapi Mc sedang dalam pertarungan hidup dan mati tapi malah mengatakan omong kosong ditengah pertempuran, hanya pemula yang akan memiliki banyak pemikiran disaat pertempuran sengit terjadi, dan juga sangat idiot untuk berteriak kepada monster yang belum tentu mengerti bahasa manusia, bahkan jika Mc ingin melakukan provokasi terhadap musuh, pasti ada banyak cara yang lebih efektif terhadap monster. Selain pada bagian aksi yang buruk, bagian lain dalam novel ini cukup klise karena sebagian besar alur cerita didalam novel ini telah digunakan pada beberapa novel lainnya. Dan saya cukup mengerti karena ini novel pertamamu, tapi saya pikir lebih baik untuk memiliki bab yang lebih pendek tapi tidak memiliki banyak kekurangan. Karena semakin banyak kata berarti lebih banyak kemungkinan kesalahan yang akan muncul didalamnya, tapi semakin sederhana sesuatu maka semakin sedikit kemungkinan kesalahan didalamnya. Lagipula ini adalah karya pertamamu, lebih baik mempuat novel dengan lebih sedikit kata tapi tanpa banyak kekurangan didalamnya, daripada novel dengan banyak kata tapi justru menjadi novel yang penuh omong kosong didalamnya.

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