webnovel
Plot_Armor
Plot_ArmorLv45yr
2020-02-18 09:10

Chapter 36: dropping The novel starts with some promises in the first 10 chapters but quickly turns into "a new antogonist shows up criticizing MC background" "why are you with her lowly commoner" "sigh" "punch in the face" "how dare you raise your hand on me" "the king is my grandpa" This is absolutely breaking the story. Then there are more minor issues: - The leveling doesn't make sense so author had to divide level by 100 and create a rank system and levels were never heard of again. - The pills are completely overpowered - The gacha system takes a complete backseat on MC power trip: it could have been used for random missions for example - the progress is bland: pill forging, fights, there is no sense of struggle and so no sense of accomplishment. - somehow the useless MC is a fighter that knows dirty techniques like tripping people but nothing in his background or gacha rewards hints to that Lastly the grammar is passable (I read much worse on webnovel) however please be consistent, use past tense only and don't suddenly switch to present. You can use present for dialogues. Chapter 36 had a significant drops in quality of English with many verb missing like "confused" instead of "was confused". It didn't help that it was chapter where the "arrogant young master seeks a fight" trope was used for the 4th time in a row. .

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Replies5
Fixten
FixtenAuthor

Thank you for your feedback. This is my first story, so I overused the common tropes, and because of that, the world background seems shallow. I have been editing them for a while, but the pace is rather slow.

Plot_Armor
Plot_ArmorLv4

Thanks for your quick reply. Also great thanks for engaging with dissatisfied readers. I left reviews on other authors work that took me time to highlight issues but it seemed like anything below 4 stars was deleted, strongly inflating their rating. Hopefully this will be a learning experience and your next novels (and the rest of this one) will be of much higher quality. I like that you don't seem to take personally criticism of your work and wish you the best.

Fixten:Thank you for your feedback. This is my first story, so I overused the common tropes, and because of that, the world background seems shallow. I have been editing them for a while, but the pace is rather slow.
Fixten
FixtenAuthor

Thanks. I know that my writing is bland and not really good. That's why I keep editing them one by one while laughing at why I made them in the first place. Anyway, thanks again for your feedback. Hope you find novels you can enjoy

Plot_Armor:Thanks for your quick reply. Also great thanks for engaging with dissatisfied readers. I left reviews on other authors work that took me time to highlight issues but it seemed like anything below 4 stars was deleted, strongly inflating their rating. Hopefully this will be a learning experience and your next novels (and the rest of this one) will be of much higher quality. I like that you don't seem to take personally criticism of your work and wish you the best.
Elder
ElderLv11

And in dangerous situation his parameters just jump by 200 intellect in second (190->400+) and other with no logic behind it.

Kea_Alulu
Kea_AluluLv14

I gotta say I’m kinda disappointed from reading the reviews but I gained respect after seeing this

Fixten:Thanks. I know that my writing is bland and not really good. That's why I keep editing them one by one while laughing at why I made them in the first place. Anyway, thanks again for your feedback. Hope you find novels you can enjoy
Other Reviews
Fixten
FixtenAuthor

Transported to Another World? Cultivation World? A Modern World? How about mixing all of them? From countless planet in the Universe, Each planet has its own technology, culture, and civilization. There are many plot twists mixed inside where the usual 'Another World' actually holds more mystery. (Writing Quality): I'm not a native English speaker, and revision is under progress. There should be some mistakes left, but it shouldn't be that much. And there should be some cliches that presented in a bad way. It is also under revision. Although I can't completely erase that part cause it might affect the later story. I am rewriting it, so it can at least be presented in a better way. Unfortunately, the revision speed is rather slow since I need to make the new chapter as well. (Stability of Updates): 1 ch/day. But it could be 2 ch/day at weekends or holidays depending on how much time I have on that day. (Story Development): 'This is subjective'. I'm doing my best to present a good story, but it depends on your own preference too. One might say good, and one might say bad. Please don't force your ideal/preferences on this story, if you want the MC this way or the MC that way, you can try to write your own story. All in all, suggestions for a better story would be appreciated. (Character Design): MC has a deep-seated inferiority complex that built up for several years. It will be hard to get rid of all of that, logically. It wasn't something that you can say 'I want to change', and you will change 180 degrees. It will be a slow development of Characters and Personalities. (World Background): The story takes place in multiple world; most of the settings are fictional. If the world background is lacking some details, please do tell me 'which one' and 'what it is' so I can add a little tweaking in that part to make a better world. (Additional Comments): Many good scenes filled my mind that I can't help to write and share it with you all. Although, I know myself wasn't a great writer. I need all possible feedback to learn and improve. For you and me. Disclaimer: I will no longer respond to mean comments and reviews. All opinions are subjective. But, please, be gentle with any strong opinions. It's easy to say something behind a screen, but it can stick with people. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy my novel.

Munchy
MunchyLv12
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