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Aotsuki_Usaginoha
Aotsuki_UsaginohaLv115yr
2019-09-25 18:53

The story and concept of the story is overall good. As for the quality of writing is mediocre at best. Not everyone starts off great in the beginning, that is why we have fan fiction. With enough time and effort, even a mediocre writer could become a polished author like the original. I will update and change this review as the story progresses.

Douluo Dalu : Frozen Heaven Spear Lord

Pan_Musa
4.1
94 Chs

Liked by 6 people

LIKE
Replies7
Trident
TridentLv10

Mr Author actually if i ignore your mistake in word placement and paragraph placement, it is a pretty good story, so to improve it i recommend you to download grammarly, it is at least could do a basic editing

5yr
Trident
TridentLv10

Mr Author actually if i ignore your mistake in word placement and paragraph placement, it is a pretty good story, so to improve it i recommend you to download grammarly, it is at least could do a basic editing

5yr
syanongparak
syanongparakLv4

Harem or stick to one?

5yr
syanongparak
syanongparakLv4

Harem or stick to one?

5yr
UNDEAD_KING
UNDEAD_KINGLv4

Harem?

5yr
UNDEAD_KING
UNDEAD_KINGLv4

Harem?

5yr
UNDEAD_KING
UNDEAD_KINGLv4

Harem?

5yr
Other Reviews
ChallengeGod
ChallengeGodLv4

Great story and plot! Although the part where his girlfriend parts ways with him was sad, I shall always be with him! But now, all you need is an Editor! And if you are interested, I could help you with that for free, I don't really care about money, but I like reading with quality.

5yr

sage7th
sage7thLv5

Reveal spoiler

5yr
Arunavazael
ArunavazaelLv6

The story and concept is good. But the writing quality no less than mtl novel. The novel is more like putting prototype story , unedited from writing condition ( Capital letter, (.) (,) and etc. ), grammatical, and vocabulary. It's mess. It's get better in latter part but not that much. It's often require the reader to auto-correct the sentence by them self to understand what are they read. It was annoying to some extent. It's like reading mtl. So bear with it, but maybe the writing goes better. I hope.

5yr
Aoalbjorn
AoalbjornLv3

Hes weaker than Tang san. hes always 10 rank lower than tang san. why? hes older than tang san and yet his cultivation is lower? he wasted 6 years for gods sake without advancing a single rank just so he doesn't surpass tang san. Mc is tangsan's support character

4yr
TheTrueGilgamesh
TheTrueGilgameshLv6

Of all the era you choose why do you have to choose the same era where Tang san live the MC is bound to be overshadow by that guy other than that i have no problem at all cause i'm gonna stop reading it here.

5yr
ProfessorNoob
ProfessorNoobLv4

Grammar needs a lot of work! The story is good wish he could improve or have someone correct it 馃槄 I really like you Mc making this review for the daily mission lol

4yr
Chaosreigns
ChaosreignsLv4

Its unreadable. The story seems passable but oh boy, let me tell you the grammar is completely horrendous like my God. The sentence structuring and missuage of words is mind boggling I just don't understand how someone can leave so many words out of a sentence and still think "oh, I'm sure they can understand when I speak like a caveman".

5yr
akshay22
akshay22Lv5

It is one of the good ones in dalu fics. Must read.

5yr
Aerobix10
Aerobix10Lv4

The writing quality is a bit bad. The comcept is good. The character development is great. The character design is great. Please update this story. I like ittttt. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

2yr
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SohiniSanyal 路 Others
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18 Chs
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