webnovel
dragonslayernjd
dragonslayernjdLv123yr
2021-03-15 13:56

So I have read up to chapter 100 and I finally have decided to write a review. Here I will list the pros and cons that this story has and hopefully give the author some constructive criticism to further improve his writing. PROS 1. Characters seem somewhat well written unlike some Chinese novels where every character seems like an arrogant brat. 2. Story premise is actually quite enjoyable to read. 3. MC is enjoyable to read about in my opinion. CONS 1. Author seems he can't display characters emotions correctly yet. For example, in the elemental test, the MC gets a godly score with the ability to manipulate 6 different elements, and yet he doesn't even seem happy in the slightest. It seemed like, to me at least, that the MC was trying to score an impossible score. 2. Detail is mediocre at best. For example, going back to the elemental test, when the MC got tested there was no suspense, there was no detail on what the MC was feeling, there was no detail in anything he was seeing either. It just seemed like he was a robot devoid of any emotions. 3. The pace is wayyyyy too fast. It seems like one chapter he is traveling to some castle or city, and next chapter it's already 3 days in the future. Like I understand if the author was trying not to bore people with unnecessary content, but my man you gotta slow it down sometimes. Honestly, this book could be one of my top books in webnovel if the author fixed up these mistakes in the writing. I hope once the author gets more experienced in writing, he will come back to this story and completely restart it. Yeah I guess it's a naΓ―ve hope, but you can let a man wish. Thanks for taking the time reading this long and boring review, much appreciated. Thanks to the author for writing this novel, and it seems to me a lot of people enjoy it aswell so good luck!

Liked it!

LIKE
Replies1
Ichiryuu
IchiryuuAuthor

I will definitely rewrite this story! I will just continue gaining more experience in writing so that when I do, I will show you the story that I envision! Thank you for the review!

Other Reviews
akserhy
akserhyLv14

Read 20 chaoters : The premise and concept of this novel is good and well written. The only thing I can't accept is the author's blatant use of words which are contradictory. 1) He tells the 5 year kid is as mature as a youngster then that means he should be as matured as an adult when he turns 10.But the author writes that Belle and MC plays around when she visits him.🀯. Does this mean they are doing some adult stuff playing ?? They should compete with each other to check their progress as Belle is too competitive as said by author but nope they play around. 2) Dragon in this world lays very small eggs and two dragons come out of a single egg as they are twin and they simply bond with each of the MC and Belle.THICC Plot armor. 3) The author does not know about cause and effect. He writes whatever he wishes and events happens without any cause and consequences. 4) Nobody wanna kill/harm/kidnap MC. Only the dark alliance wants it and rest all wanna worship mc as god. 5)He is as mature as a youngster but cant say no to Belle cause his Body is still a KID. 6) Everything happens in favor of mc (THICC PLOT ARMOR).He is a happy go lucky naive kiddo with maturity. I hate reading story where everything is smoothsailing for mc who is naive idiotic but author keeps portraying him as intelligent and mature. This makes the story a FAIRY TALE and I have grown up from Fairy Tales. There is no suspense and thrill in reading fairytales. So If you like Fairytales this novel is for you. Alas its not for me.

Related Stories

Primordial Villain with a Slave Harem

Quinlan, a simple office worker finds himself transmigrated to an extremely dangerous fantasy land as a level 1 Commoner with nothing to his name but his wits - and a unique gift that accompanied his teleportation. No one in Thalorind could have predicted that this unassuming arrival would one day rise to the top, redefining the very meaning of the term 'power'... And that he may have achieved said result by joining a criminal organization and clawing his way through its ranks as well as establishing his own business empire that may or may not have relied on slave labor. In the beginning, Quinlan was painfully weak and alone but thanks to his severe trust issues, joining a team was... hard. However, he soon noticed that a lot of people have collars around their necks in this world... People that couldn't exactly betray him. Follow Quinlan's journey as he grows in strength, amasses wealth, fights to the death, and meets lovely ladies. ... Discord: https://discord.gg/bjunEkswQ3 ... Disclaimer: I'd received a few harsh complaints from some readers that my MC is not a real villain, and I have to agree; if you're looking for some complete psycho MC who burns random farmer villages down just for fun then don't read. The MC is a ruthless man who does evil things from time to time, but only to his enemies or those he considers to be true scum. He gains no joy from tormenting strangers. Also don't read if you want a story about buying s*x slaves and r*ping them, that doesn't happen in this novel. He will treat the women he wants to be with as if they were normal people, whether they're slaves or not.

NecroBin Β· Fantasy
4.5
476 Chs

I Can Copy And Evolve Talents

The convolution of worlds are govern by a set of gods, each god is given a world to rule and there can be skirmishes between them – as a result of one between Nexus, the god of trickery and a senile old hag Elliot reincarnated into Ul’Tra-el by mistake. Ul’Tra-el is a world that grew a voice, because of this voice, it began to take a different path from other worlds -- it was filled with a core anomaly – rifts. Dimensions began to leak into each other, vomiting outrageous monsters. In response or as an auto-correction to such anomaly, talents were awakened in the inhabitants of Ul’Tra-el and they gained tremendous power, for every rift they close down, they were rewarded massively by the voice of the world called Ul. In a hardcore world like this one, our MC (Northern) reincarnated as a talentless individual but in the face of a death and a head splitting revelation... ...when all hopes seemed lost. {System Notice} Your Soul cannot take a form Searching for Unique pattern ability for your soul searching... search found. Unique System ability has been found... Unique System Ability [CopyCat] has been gained. Awakening Unique ability... Northern gained a talent copying system! ... Follow Northern through his journey as he becomes the pinnacle of this world. This a story about a white-haired boy’s rise from rubbles!! Note: This is an overpower genre but MC does not just start off like that. Even though MC can copy talents he doesn't just jump around copying talents because there's a limitation. However, his rise to strength is depicted and is an experience to enjoy. The first few hundreds would be frustrating to follow because MC is weak but that makes the experience all the more interesting when MC finally gets freaking strong and starts wiping the floor with everyones asses.

RighteousFilth Β· Fantasy
3.7
681 Chs