Review Detail of atemkemal in A Bend in Time

I usually don't comment, but because I like your story, I thought I should express my opinion. Sometimes the things you wrote feel so forced. You should stop doing it. Because it makes it really difficult to read. She isn't Harry Potter things will not develop same way they have diffirent they have different circumstances. 1. Boyfriend rumours. İt feel too forced. She is cold looking person. She wasn't act close to any boy. It isn't logical such rumours to be accepted. Anyone with brain could see it was just ill act. 2. She isn't Harry Potter she doesn't cause trouble to others, there is no reason to somedoy act against her. She is top student okay but she isn't great beauty or chosen one like HP, There wasn't any reason for jealousy . And she doesn't pick fight with other so hatred also not logical. 3. Triwizard arc first Severus just lost his grandmother and father it was too illogical to risk Rowan life even if ones in million chance. Second this sentence 'it must have been three founders blood rowan possesed that best candicates ignored by goblet.' I mean she is young I agree but still she manages pass exam equal to NEWT how the heck she isn't one of the best candicate. And she pass it with good marks. And with Prince' current power it is illogical everybody pick a fight with them. Their grandfather become sort of faction leader, they are students of one of the strongest wizard and that wizard is headmaster, they are genius who passed the exam youngest since 300 years, and they have decent character. Who wanna pick a fight with them? Do not misunderstand. I'm not saying the story is bad. On the contrary, I felt the need to state this bad habit because it was good. Apart from what I wrote, I think it went really well. You are writing one of the best HP fanficts, in my opinion, hope you can make it even better.