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AsuraMonarch
AsuraMonarchLv65yr
2019-08-12 23:43

I remember this from Fanfiction.net the the title tho and I'm too lazy to search for it. But please say if you are actually the author or just a filthy dirtbag stealing someone else's work.

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Replies4
sp4rtan12
sp4rtan12Author

Please do read it, I used alot of reference with other author's books as I go on with this novel including the usage of the naruto wiki. I'm open of criticisms though. Good day to you stranger. ^_^

sp4rtan12
sp4rtan12Author

I don't own anything related to the naruto franchise. It is just me expressing my love for the Naruto masterpiece when I decided to make this fanfic. I also use this to slowly improve myself in creating related novels. XD

AsuraMonarch
AsuraMonarchLv6

Oh so you used the starting thing from another one? Well, MB should've read more. This isn't SV, SB, QQ, so I just didn't think you just drew inspiration. There have been a few stolen stories and being posted here lately tho so yeah. Oh, and will you draw upon some from Dem Dry Bones? A Kimimaro SI with an SI having mental problems kinda sorta since who wouldn't if you were in his situation.

sp4rtan12:Please do read it, I used alot of reference with other author's books as I go on with this novel including the usage of the naruto wiki. I'm open of criticisms though. Good day to you stranger. ^_^
AsuraMonarch
AsuraMonarchLv6

Oh so you used the starting thing from another one? Well, MB should've read more. This isn't SV, SB, QQ, so I just didn't think you just drew inspiration. There have been a few stolen stories and being posted here lately tho so yeah. Oh, and will you draw upon some from Dem Dry Bones? A Kimimaro SI with an SI having mental problems kinda sorta since who wouldn't if you were in his situation.

sp4rtan12:Please do read it, I used alot of reference with other author's books as I go on with this novel including the usage of the naruto wiki. I'm open of criticisms though. Good day to you stranger. ^_^
Other Reviews
iOnlyEatDinner
iOnlyEatDinnerLv5

A lot of people seemed to mistook this fanfic as something from another site because of some similarities in the synopsis. [Pros] So far the writing was great, the Author is doing his research to avoid making a lot of mistakes. The grammar is great and the fic is easy to read, you won't be hurting your eyes and braincells by reading this fic. The main character know his priorities, he didn't straight up went to pick up girls from a young age, no thinking with his lower head. That's a plus to me. [Cons] Extensive display of status screens, sometimes the author would pull up the whole list of skills when the MC learned only a single skill and his other skills not leveling up. Extensive use of all-caps when displaying system texts. Some people dislike reading texts in all caps. โ€ปโ€ป To the author, I know how it feels to have an OCD, and I myself hate putting wrong informations, but you don't have to worry too much about minor mistakes if they won't affect the story in the long run. (Like 1 year of age and such) Nobody expects a fanfic to be perfect, even the original isn't perfect and full of plot holes, so don't stress yourself about having perfect details in everything. For the first Cons I put, I suggest only displaying skills that had changes in them in some scenarios. Maybe even letting go of the skill description in most cases. Even something like {Shadow Clone Jutsu Lv1 > Lv3}, would have sufficed. Only display the full description when he first learn them or display the whole status and skill lists as a footer for that chapter after reaching your target word count for that chapter. The chapters would be less cluttered with system displays then. As for the all-caps in the format, I suggest putting the system texts inside a type of brackets that is assigned only for the system. I do hate how we can't format texts in this site, but putting them in brackets would be enough for readers to know that it's a system display/message/alerts and prompts.

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