Item: Harry Potter and Deathfalls ( Hiatus )
Rating: 3.2
Author: Zonion

ZonionLv145yr

2019-10-12 13:52

Things wrong with the story. - grammar (really needs a proofreader) - the story itself (details missing and goes too fast) - character (chose a house and says that he would make schemes and yet hasn't made one) How to fix. Restart the story and edit the chapters

Harry Potter and Deathfalls ( Hiatus )

EternalGrowth

3.8

63 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Other Reviews

SlippyWitABlickyLv13

Only good thing about this one is that the author regularly updates his story. But the story is riddled with problems, having read all chapters to date I know nearly nothing about the character, their abilities and goals or intentions. The author routinely (every single chapter) skips swathes of time with what feels like an assumption that the reader understands what is going on. Character design is one dimensional as is the story development for the reasons given. The author hasn't really added much if anything to the world background (Harry Potter with unknown drop-in character). Tried to give it a go as I assumed this is the author's first work, but there has been no improvement; dropping :(

5yr

dupermeLv15

There is no actual bad fanfic, each author and fan has their own fix that they want to write and dream in, takes a lot of courage and time. Shoutout to author of this fanfic, doing a good job. I lied earlier, there is bad fanfic’s aka stories dropped by authors who don’t believe in themselves and their stories anymore, of course there are also reason to why good novels and fanfics are dropped too. May we all take a moment to remember and although hard and painful, leave those good memories of reading them behind us 😢

5yr

RattlerLv5

The grammar is horrible needs a proofreader @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@######################################÷###÷#÷#######################################

5yr

Dator_DavidLv13

Sad you stopped. Hope you will find your inspiration and continue it🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

5yr

asaade9999Lv3

what a trash novel its made of summary that you cant get what truly happen example chapter 8 mc enter hogwarts chapter 9 mc celebrating christmas chapter 11 the year has ended, see its a trash novel

5yr

ReMormiusLv3

Reveal spoiler

4yr

ClearSkySageLv4

litle bit of gramar and development problem but i`m going to give you 5 because i`m really liking it please continue to write. i see a lot o peaple complaining but your history is actually pretty cool i love the oc characters and i hope to see more of them.

5yr

yololloooLv5

Unreadable thanks to grammar and authors understanding of english language. Honestly i have read better english from grade schoolers and the biggest tragedy is that nowdays there is software to correct this all..... I would recommend author to chech grammarly.com.

5yr

IssthfanLv5

The novel is easy going with a good plot and no harem and no Hermione as a lover which is pretty good for me no clichè love lines or mature content for children yet i give this 5 star for that the only problem is that this needs an editor typos/ misspelling and incoherent sentences sometimes lots of potential and great expectations for this one

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