webnovel
SlippyWitABlicky
SlippyWitABlickyLv135yr
2019-07-28 11:09

Only good thing about this one is that the author regularly updates his story. But the story is riddled with problems, having read all chapters to date I know nearly nothing about the character, their abilities and goals or intentions. The author routinely (every single chapter) skips swathes of time with what feels like an assumption that the reader understands what is going on. Character design is one dimensional as is the story development for the reasons given. The author hasn't really added much if anything to the world background (Harry Potter with unknown drop-in character). Tried to give it a go as I assumed this is the author's first work, but there has been no improvement; dropping :(

Harry Potter and Deathfalls ( Hiatus )

EternalGrowth
3.8
63 Chs

Liked by 16 people

LIKE
Replies1
EternalGrowth
EternalGrowthAuthor

I understand thank you for your review, I'm sorry for the time skip as i don't have much experience in writing you could even say this is one of my first novel, the character development I'm too focused on Allan and Crystal that is my bad quality, world development it will grow but I don't have much idea for character development except for Allan and Crystal maybe just make Allan change their personality, and as you aware Ron is much braver and more smarter with Harry more tougher and stronger, and draco with much kinder personality. While I want you to read it until the end i can't force it so thank you for staying with me all this time. I'm sorry for all the bad quality this novel have and thank you for this review.

5yr
4
Other Reviews
duperme
dupermeLv15

There is no actual bad fanfic, each author and fan has their own fix that they want to write and dream in, takes a lot of courage and time. Shoutout to author of this fanfic, doing a good job. I lied earlier, there is bad fanfic’s aka stories dropped by authors who don’t believe in themselves and their stories anymore, of course there are also reason to why good novels and fanfics are dropped too. May we all take a moment to remember and although hard and painful, leave those good memories of reading them behind us 😢

5yr

Rattler
RattlerLv5

The grammar is horrible needs a proofreader @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@######################################÷###÷#÷#######################################

5yr
Dator_David
Dator_DavidLv13

Sad you stopped. Hope you will find your inspiration and continue it🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

5yr
asaade9999
asaade9999Lv3

what a trash novel its made of summary that you cant get what truly happen example chapter 8 mc enter hogwarts chapter 9 mc celebrating christmas chapter 11 the year has ended, see its a trash novel

5yr
ReMormius
ReMormiusLv3

Reveal spoiler

4yr
ClearSkySage
ClearSkySageLv4

litle bit of gramar and development problem but i`m going to give you 5 because i`m really liking it please continue to write. i see a lot o peaple complaining but your history is actually pretty cool i love the oc characters and i hope to see more of them.

5yr
Zonion
ZonionLv14

Things wrong with the story. - grammar (really needs a proofreader) - the story itself (details missing and goes too fast) - character (chose a house and says that he would make schemes and yet hasn't made one) How to fix. Restart the story and edit the chapters

5yr
yolollooo
yololloooLv5

Unreadable thanks to grammar and authors understanding of english language. Honestly i have read better english from grade schoolers and the biggest tragedy is that nowdays there is software to correct this all..... I would recommend author to chech grammarly.com.

5yr
Issthfan
IssthfanLv5

The novel is easy going with a good plot and no harem and no Hermione as a lover which is pretty good for me no clichè love lines or mature content for children yet i give this 5 star for that the only problem is that this needs an editor typos/ misspelling and incoherent sentences sometimes lots of potential and great expectations for this one

5yr
Related Stories

Game of Thrones: Path of the Hungry Bear

When you're reborn as Jorah Mormont you ain't got much. A Dad looking to bale and go spend his days hanging out with the guys on the Wall, a wild Aunt raising your wild cousins you can't stand, an arranged marriage to a girl you never met with a dowry almost low enough to be an insult, and a populace of smallfolk so inebriated and incompetent its no wonder nothing's changed around here in 8,000 years. Hopefully the gold finger granted by Levid's Magically Wheel of Reincarnation can help. A really nice pair of testicles. With that, the right attitude, and a shovel I have everything I need to dig a nice grave to lay in. Or Bag End. Let's see which happens first. You can support me and my family at ko - fi . com / jmanm

JManM · Book&Literature
4.6
83 Chs

Game of Thrones: Knight’s Honor

In a land where ancient families are as common as the stars, the weight of millennia-old legacies brings not only honor but also the chains of rigid traditions. Here, bloodlines are the cornerstone of power, the unyielding foundation for climbing the ladder of authority. But what hope does the descendant of a mere hunter have in such a world? How can they claim a seat at the table in this grand feast of ambition and betrayal? Is it through the fragmented remnants of a cheat ability from the game For Honor, now warped and unrecognizable? A fleeting glimpse into an uncertain future? Or perhaps a stroke of intangible, invisible luck? The stage is set, the pieces are moving—will this unlikely contender rise, or will they become just another casualty of the Game of Thrones? *This is a Translation* Name: Game of Thrones: Knight’s Honor Original Name: 权游之骑士荣耀 Author: Jiuchengjun Original Author's Name: 九城君

BlurryDream · Book&Literature
4.3
204 Chs

Hogwarts: The Unscientific Wizard (TL)

How far is the end of magic from us? Andy Collins ends up in the magical world of Harry Potter and explores the path of magic from zero. What is the link between magic and the mind? From where does magic originate? Is it possible to achieve immortality using magic? Andy: Since I'm a wizard, I believe that wizards should do things consistent with their identity... Add a few points! PS: Mc only watched 1st Harry Potter Film and knows some details his friends talked about. PS1: AU === Author: soda bottle cap === *Disclaimer* Other than translation, everything belong to the original creator. If the original creator wants to take it down, pls leave a review below, just found the CN novel and translate it here to increase my vocabulary, English and to earn some coffee change. If you have some extra pocket money, Support me on Patreon: www.patreon.com/Crazy_Cat. This is where I read it- https://book.qidian.com/info/1037068281/ Cover Art: PixAI You can support original author in Chinese site.

Crazy_DarkSide_Cat · Book&Literature
4.3
650 Chs

Writing a Diary in the Shinobi World, and the Kunoichi Are Shocked

Night Star transmigrates into the Naruto world, becoming a member of the Uchiha clan. At the start, he awakens the Diary System. As long as he records entries daily, he can earn rewards based on the richness of the plot. Setting a small goal: first gain enough strength to easily dominate the Shinobi World, then begin enjoying a peaceful daily life. But the behavior of the female characters starts to take a peculiar turn. Kurenai Yuhi: "Night Star, would you like to come to my house and drink with me?" Mei Terumi: "Have you thought about joining the Hidden Mist Village? Whatever you want, just ask. Even me, if necessary." Konan: "The Akatsuki needs your strength, and I also need you by my side." Tsunade: "Brat, if it’s you… a union between the Senju and Uchiha clans wouldn’t be out of the question." Rin Nohara: "As you climb to the pinnacle of the Shinobi World, I will always be watching over you."

Leanzin · Book&Literature
2.9
115 Chs

Game of Thrones: The Legend of Jon Arctic – ASOIAF/GOT GOT

Jon Snow, a boy destined for a life of contempt by almost everyone around him, but a divine intervention can change everything. The boy who will pave the way to build the most powerful nation in the world. I crafted this story with a focus on the creation of a kingdom, battles, economy, navigation, and exploration of the entire universe of Planetos, with a central character in mind. Am I wealthy? The Stormlands, Dorne, the Reach, and the Westerlands all want to establish trade agreements with me. And the East? I have trade agreements with Braavos, Pentos, Myr, Tyrosh, Lys, and Volantis. I can negotiate with everyone in Essos, except in the Slaver's Bay after I stole 100,000 chained men from them. So, do you have enemies in Essos? About that? I indeed have quite a few. I started by stealing slaves from them, then raised a khalasar and began a bloodbath in the Dothraki Sea for fun. I was even named a Khal in Vaes Dothrak. Not to mention, the last time I went to Essos, I toppled the Titan's statue in Braavos. They wanted to stop me from destroying the House of Black and White. That day wasn't very pleasant for the Braavosi. Wow, and the kingdoms below the Wall? The Wall? It no longer exists; I brought it down a while ago. I took the North as part of my kingdom and left the South of the Neck to the Southerners. They tried to reclaim the kingdom, but now the Southerners tremble when they feel my armies on their lands. I've personally killed one or two of their kings. Really? Yes, ask what's left of Oldtown. I would answer, it turned to ashes. Lannisport? I burned it. Casterly Rock? It's at the bottom of the sea. The Twins? I blew up the entire place. King's Landing? The city is standing, but the Red Keep is history. -------------------------------------------- This Fanfic's Schedule for the week, updates on: Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. ---------------------------------------------- With gratitude and enthusiasm, Raccoon! And your raccoon welcomes you to the Raccoon League! An exploration across different universes, be prepared for adventure! With over 1 million words published! ---- Current explorations: One Piece: I am a Different Luffy! (7 Chapters/Week) Danmachi: Infinite Mana System! (3 Chapters/Week) Game of Thrones: The Legend of Jon Artica! (3 Chapters/Week) Naruto: Light Ninja! (3 Chapters/Week) Naruto: Minato Namikase SI! (3 Chapters/Week) The Witcher: As Uchiha Madara! (3 Chapters/Week) HP: Shadow Monarch! (3 Chapters/Week) Game of Thrones: DragonBorn! (1 Chapter/Week) ---- Explore the Unexplored! Become an exclusive supporter on Patreon and unlock advanced chapters -> RaccoonLeague | Patreon https://www.patreon.com/RaccoonLeague

RaccoonLeague · Book&Literature
4.6
223 Chs
Login