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Sani2341
Sani2341Lv35yr
2019-09-25 17:25

The writing in this story is quite good, don't recall any noticeable Spelling or Grammar issues in it, which, sadly, is surprisingly rare here on Webnovel. The story has so far developed slowly but steadily, there was no sudden jumps from slow buildup and introduction to 'real' plot, nor was there any chapter long infodumps about the setting, the characters or somethign else. Every bit of worldbuilding so far was tied together with the ongoing story itself. As for the setting itself, it is in concept a neat idea in the vein of waterworld, just taken to a different direction, which gives it a slight resemblance to stories set in rather sizeable spacesships/-stations with the domed cities the character hardly leaves. Most Characters so far feel based in one cliche or another, but have enough depth that they aren't stereotyped by it. While the constant off-brand naming for various things is still somewhere between puzzling for thigns like 'foogle it' instead of using expresions like 'research it' or 'looking it up', at least it is done consistently.

The Alterra Project

LordSputnik
4.6
130 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies3
LordSputnik
LordSputnikAuthor

Thanks for the honest review and glad to see you like it so far! I use "Foogle it" more for the silliness of it since it sounds enough like Google It that I hope everyone understands what I meant.

5yr
Sani2341
Sani2341Lv3

That... is actualy a very obvious reason I could have guessed.

LordSputnik:Thanks for the honest review and glad to see you like it so far! I use "Foogle it" more for the silliness of it since it sounds enough like Google It that I hope everyone understands what I meant.
5yr
LordSputnik
LordSputnikAuthor

Lol, yeah, I'm not trying to get anyone to think deeply in the early chapters... more just getting the major characters introduced. I enjoy a lot of the characters from the second volume so it's starting to feel like 2 MCs almost.

Sani2341:That... is actualy a very obvious reason I could have guessed.
5yr
Other Reviews
Kaiser_Wilheim
Kaiser_WilheimLv3

Author, please remove my first review. After getting to this point I can honestly say you've improved significantly! I love the new characters, the world setting, the monty python references, even the songs surprised me! Great job and keep up the good work! I saw the twist coming at the end of the first volume but I can't see the twist you have planned, if any, for the second one, although you have hinted at something.

5yr

LordSputnik
LordSputnikAuthor

This is my first novel on here so don't be gentle if you dislike it, but do be kind enough to inform me of why you dislike it. Also, yes, this is a shameless self review...

5yr
Abdirah101
Abdirah101Lv5

Great read so far! I have being enjoying it, and it is in my library right now. I love the references you make, but tone it down a bit, huh? It does take away from the experience since it does pop up a LOT. There are grammar issues, though like I say we are not professionals with editors on hand and making a living out of it.

5yr
Gray_Wilhelm
Gray_WilhelmLv2

It is about a mech game with more simulation than I've ever seen that is also the first and only full dive VR game. It seems I grow and change as a person, which is probably a good thing because I do realize I'm a bit immature for my age.

5yr
MasterOfCouch
MasterOfCouchLv3

Everything is perfect. But I have to say, the story is a bit to slow and the author has to not go overboard with the filler. And I hope it does not go premium or else I need a pile of SS.

5yr
Yurika_Winchester
Yurika_WinchesterLv1

Hmmm... While I do admit that I am quite biased to this story, I find it enjoyable to read about me since I'm like the hidden boss and real star of this novel!

5yr
RedSonia
RedSoniaLv15

One word: interesting. The nerdy guy who goes to the ‘nerdy store’ reminds me of Sheldon Cooper (just he goes to the comic store where owner/clerk is... strange). Lots of references and funny moments. It’s an easy read. I like that it does not start with a massive info-dump about the world, but the bits are embedded in the story and explained as necessary. The pacing is just right. There are some minor grammar issues, but they are not distracting or demanding that I read the paragraph few times in order to understand the story. Keep up the good work, author. 👍

5yr
Geoff_Leray
Geoff_LerayLv1

So, I am glad to see Gray is as easy going as I am. Gaming should be fun and easy going! Still, this story seems to involve much... much more than just gaming. It's almost like it's a novel not about gaming.

5yr
WindCrest
WindCrestLv5

You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python. You bought me at Monty Python.

5yr
LordSputnik
LordSputnikAuthor

Time to give myself an honest review after 100 chapters... Honest Review Thank you for starting to edit your first volume, "Foogle it" was honestly stupid as well as intentionally misspelling other pop culture references. The Good: Writing quality has improved dramatically as time has gone on, now usually I just see a word that is missed every now and then. The characters all feel believable and have been given enough life that many of them stand on their own. Gray may be the MC, but it feels like an ensemble cast instead of a sole MC. The Bad: Your story development is a bit slow, not always a bad thing, but we need a little bit more action. Your world building was good at first, but you've kinda fallen way off on this as time went on and we haven't really seen much of the world or even heard about it in awhile! The Neutral: Part of me wants a harem, part of me is glad you didn't go with one... Overall, it's better that you didn't as you've tried to focus more on realism. Needs more mechs also!

5yr
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