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Review Detail of guilhermecoimbra in New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic

Review detail

guilhermecoimbra
guilhermecoimbraLv54yrguilhermecoimbra

1) The writting quality is good for this platform and it is the story's saving grace, but also means it is average if this work was published in a developed platform. 2) The updates are constant and rigorous, I give props for the author commitment with his readers. 3) For whatever reason, I think the author is "milking" the story, halting the main plot progression and filiing the story with some tinkering in the Hp world, like creating a company, magical experiments and etc., the latters aren't a problem on itself, but the balance between the main plot progression and them. In suffice, if this was a paid novel and not a fanfiction I bet people would be talking about fillers and word count, things that authors do to drag the story for extend periods of time. I have no idea how things work on pa.treon. 3.1) If the tags "slow pace"; "Business management" were here I'd be less miffed about it. 3.2) For reference, HP and the sorcerer stone have little less than 77.000 words. This story still are in the first year of Hogwarts with 114 chapters (approximately 1,5k words per chapter according with author's estimation). Besides, Rowling did the world building from scratch, author have a sandbox. 4) Initially, the character development was one of the things responsible for the story's initial momentum and, ironically, author - in his notes - pointed out some inconsistencies with Rowling's original characters's profiles, but then he ended up creating some of their own. Let me explain: 4.1) Harry is a trasmigated OC, he has something that people with depression and anger issues strives for: a third view perspective of the situation, in a way for them not take things too personally and affect their mental health. The character internalized this problems so much - abuse, child endangerment - that he end up appearing as an unstable sociopath. 4.2) Hermione. I don't what's the author wants with the character. I suppose that he idolize her so much that no matter what she does against the MC and creates a circus drama, the consequences are a mere afterthought by the author with a meaninless development, in a way she'll always remain as main female character. Furthermore, the circle repeats just to stir the readers I think. That's my review up to chapter 114.

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New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic

Fortunate_Soul

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Replies6

AdamNics
AdamNicsLv5AdamNics

The story really could be more clear in synopsis of what the story included(though it did say its going to explore magic and path his own way too the future) and been tagged better (or really at all). The relationships, especially hermione, has been a bit of a mess IMO, though I do think it has gotten better. If the hermione **** repeats one more time, I will probably start disliking this story(and I like it quite a bit).

guilhermecoimbra
guilhermecoimbraLv5guilhermecoimbra

Well, I actually dropped the story a little after of the review. The reason is that the author' current focus is to play the emotional card with the pairings - first Hermione, now Ginny - to gather audience and it works. It's a disappointment for people who like HP for what it is and not some cheap "CEO" drama.

AdamNics:The story really could be more clear in synopsis of what the story included(though it did say its going to explore magic and path his own way too the future) and been tagged better (or really at all). The relationships, especially hermione, has been a bit of a mess IMO, though I do think it has gotten better. If the hermione **** repeats one more time, I will probably start disliking this story(and I like it quite a bit).
AdamNics
AdamNicsLv5AdamNics

Yeah, I would dislike it if a relationship with ginny happened, I'm hoping the author is including it to show an unhealthy idolisation. Ginny is a boring character, we've been there done that. However I think it would have been weird if her feelings weren't mentioned but the fact we get her POV is worrying. I'm hoping it's more about using a perspective we understand rather than a stranger, like the malfoy's POV.

guilhermecoimbra:Well, I actually dropped the story a little after of the review. The reason is that the author' current focus is to play the emotional card with the pairings - first Hermione, now Ginny - to gather audience and it works. It's a disappointment for people who like HP for what it is and not some cheap "CEO" drama.
AdamNics
AdamNicsLv5AdamNics

So you've dropped, I'm going to continue. Would you like me to tell you if a certain thing happens or doesn't happen? as the case may be

guilhermecoimbra:Well, I actually dropped the story a little after of the review. The reason is that the author' current focus is to play the emotional card with the pairings - first Hermione, now Ginny - to gather audience and it works. It's a disappointment for people who like HP for what it is and not some cheap "CEO" drama.
guilhermecoimbra
guilhermecoimbraLv5guilhermecoimbra

Sure, I don't mind. I dropped the story, but that doesn't mean I hate it. Started to sound more like pre-teens drama, if this was set in the 4th year and fowards would a lot more engaging for what the author is going for. Also, I don't like Ginny as character, but the truth is that romance in the HP books are nothing more than the fan's projections, heck Rowling did a mediocre job with it in the books, but she barely care to write more than a few lines about it.

AdamNics:So you've dropped, I'm going to continue. Would you like me to tell you if a certain thing happens or doesn't happen? as the case may be
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

This review is awesome