Review Detail of Scarlettbunny in Land Warrior: Discontinued

Not your typical novel, if anything it's like a very detailed RPS story. You are immersed into a wat with real people rather then he characters that can spawn somewhere after death. Interesting not my cup of tea but when I was ready I felt like I need a bowl of popcorn and can of soda. Mind you I got up to the end of chapter 4. The writing though, a lot of in's in your story should be on's. I find my phone does the same thing, it auto corrects and drives me up the wall. It is time consuming but try rereading your chapters before posting. Also some words are redundant or could be tried down. He said with a sigh could easily be changed to he sighed. There are a few more and I had to reread the paragraphs to make sense of the conversation. Nothing wrong with taking your time with things. Your characters are there to voice their opinions and tell their stories not repeat what you wrote a few words before. So expand on what they say or feel. You have the ability to paint an entire world, with nations and cities I can see you bringing more life into your characters when they are not fighting.