Review Detail of Chryiss in C: Summoner & Magic

Updates: 5 Writing, Characters, World: 4 Plot: 3 Firstly, the writing is good overall. I’m I don’t see a lot of weird word tense and phrasing. The only errors are minor, usually punctuational with the rare misspell (typing error it looks like). Although the characters lack in thoughts and identification of their motivations and beliefs (inner mind and deeper personality), they’re described physically well and act in relatively distinctive manners. The biggest obstacle holding them back at this point is the plot. While the world is pretty well established, it’s often in the form of info dumps. (I myself have this problem since I made mine really complex/detailed.) Whole chapters or almost the entire chapter, are dedicated to background on the world and its current situation with the beasts. More weaving of info snippets into the actual progression the story would be better as the chapters with actual fighting and action are the best. At this point, the plot has moved very little. And at the end of the last chapters, it seems to deviate into lots of dreams—which I imagine are important considering the first chapter in MC’s past life, but they should be connected into one chapter rather than spread out in short passages. It’s hard to piece together what’s exactly happening/the significance of those dreams otherwise. —and a lot of time and perspective shifts. I’m a fan of allusions and mysterious characters that go initially unnamed, but there was a tad too much mystery for me to form a coherent idea of what was happening or had happened. So with world info weaved into plot progression, restructuring of the mysteries and dreams, and character introspection, I can see this becoming a really good story—like the initial statement of making this story somewhat atypical of the isekai genre. Good potential, keep at it!