webnovel
Irelia
IreliaAuthor5yr
2019-04-21 16:29

As per some request, i have edited some of the chapters, especially chapter 3. Please check it out again if you have already read it. Tyvm!

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
JohnnyKbca
JohnnyKbcaLv4

When reviewing, I always give each category one extra star to the score, save for newbie writers to whom I give two. Writing Quality 5: I only noticed some small errors such as forgetting apostrophes or not capitalized "I", but nothing too serious. Stability of Updates 5: Personally, I don't like this category, as sometimes the writer needs more time to finish up a chapter, but may end up sacrificing the quality to keep the release rate, so I always give it a 5. And yes, I mostly copypasted this category from my previous reviews and will do the same with future ones. Story Development 3: The story flows well and there are some exciting moments but it never really managed to engage me. If I had to guess why, I would say it was the clichés, which made me feel I've read this story before. Lots of them crumped together, especially at the beginning. You have the loli imouto who is in love with her --NOT blood related-- brother. The harsh, loli teacher who --is not clear yet, but probably-- is actually an *****. The magical battle high school to train students against demon beasts. Underestimated MC and random mobs whose only function is to belittle and later to awe at MC's actions. To be clear, I don't think cliches are necessarily bad, as they give a sense of familiarity to the reader, which allows them to focus on other parts of the story. Unfortunately, these other parts also didn't make me engaged. Character Design 2: I didn't particularly like or dislike the story aspect. This one though... The characters are mostly generic, showing little to no personality. The MC is bland, though not as much as Ayato, the non-threatening male "friend". His other “friend” is Akane, the Osananajimi who recognizes the MC while he initially doesn't remember her. As for the quotation marks, it’s because even calling them friends seem to be a bit of a stretch. That’s because most of their interactions are just there to advance the plot. The other characters aren’t any better, with only Miyuki being mildly interesting. World Background 4: The world is well detailed, but the way said details are told could be improved. The world building is done mostly through infodumps, which can make the reader skip through it or lose interest. A tip would be to cut out as much as you can and spread the rest through the story. Another would be to add the character’s thoughts or opinions in between. Not only it will break the feeling of reading a wall of text, as it will also provide good opportunities to show more of the character’s personality. Review score (5+5+3+2+4)/5 = 3.8 Score given = (5+5+4+3+5)/5 = 4.4

Related Stories

Strongest Mage with the Lust system

[ Warning: Mature content R-18 ] Is death a new begining? For Max, it was. Max, a twenty-year-old virgin, got attacked by a bear in forest and died an untimely death. Fortunately for him... that wasn't the end to his story. In the next instant, he found himself transmigrated into the body of a noble's youngest son in a world full of Magic, wonders and... beautiful women. As if God was making up for his untimely death, he also got a system -The Lust System. "I can become stronger just by having sex?" Join the journey of Max and watch he have the time of his life and become the strongest mage the world had ever seen before. ______________________________ [Things to be noted] 1. From the title, you should've guessed it already but let me tell you the story will be filled with many sexual adventures. So... you are welcome to enjoy them..... 2. However... don't expect MC to have sexual relations with every woman he meets. I'll be focusing on the story, and would 'Try' not to blindly throw sex scenes left and right. 3. Most importantly, this is my first time writing so the the quality of first 50 or so may be a bit lacking (But it would cause you no problem if a few minor errors don't bother you). 4. It is a slow paced story. If you want everything to be explosive and fast, maybe this isn't for you. Important Note: If you enjoy the story then don't forget to vote your GTs, Power stones and also if you can, send some GIFTS too. This poor soul would appreciate it. Also check out My other work: [ Rise of the Strongest War God ] & [ My perverted devil system ] Happy reading~ ________________

Blizzard54k · Fantasy
4.5
749 Chs