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Pleione
PleioneLv154yr
2020-01-12 04:11

This is unique writing as an observer of the world through the lenses of an inanimate object. It is interesting to read, describing action through metaphor. There are some confusion about where a thought starts or ends but I think it is not necessary because the book is through narration and thought of the tree. Keep up the good work as this is difficult to write.

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Chryiss
ChryissLv5

First person perspective of a tree is interesting and thought-provoking. While the ideas are somewhat profound, the sentences are all mostly short, so it lacked the trailing lengthiness that thoughts often are. However, the wisdom of the old tree comes across. Although I wonder whether the tree would be so questioning of the human race after 400 years. Also, why this particular girl and son after 400 years? Why focus on them? Is this the first time the tree has seen sexual assault? I’m going so, but it would be nice if these gaps could be filled in/answered. Also, at one point it said that the girl was old at twenty an then later says she was only fourteen. I was confused at that part. It said her inside was old, so I guessed it either meant that she matured quickly due to the horrors she experienced, or that she was an old soul? Lastly, it makes me wonder how realistic is it for a girl to return to the site on which she was assaulted without any fear or pain upon environmental remembrance. Where’re all the other trees? Why not rest upon one that isn’t tied to such memories? Or is there something special about this tree’s location or makeup that makes it more appealing? Overall, I think you did a great job making a thoughtful and deep piece. There are some believability questions that arise, but they can be fixed. Since the tree is merely a watcher, confider, and guider, the humans met will have a large role; their characters and stories will essentially be the ones moving the story development.

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