Item: I am a Mafia Boss
Rating: 3
Author: BaiQiuyue

BaiQiuyueLv46yr

2019-01-23 13:47

Hello! I found the beginning of this story entertaining. There is a lot you can do with this plot. Mio seems like a strong woman and the way she was when young reveals she used to have a bit of 'danger' to her. I'd really like to see how it plays out in her future. How far will she go to try and break out of her arranged marriage? I especially would like to see you flesh out the organization more in the future. For example, the hierarchy? Status. Their roles, goals, etc. As for my rating, since this only the first chapter I've decided to give you three stars for each section for now. Also, so your readers can smoothly read your story I recommend using any free grammar checker to clean up on errors. So far it's a nice start, so please keep writing! ^_^

I am a Mafia Boss

Elotra

4.2

21 Chs

Liked by 1 people

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews

90751052Lv4

Whoo! Mafia and love! The protagonist, Mio, is a strong female lead, which is a plus. I liked the interactions between her minions and the mysterious Jacob entering the fray. While the story had just begun, I cannot say that much about it. The grammar is fine, but there are some punctuation errors here and there along with awkward phrasings. But, keep writing author! Fight on! >3</

6yr

anarthLv3

Adoi, sayah lage mau INI, apasai lage tungo lambat lage adah baru chapter, 2long cepat lah!!!! Saya mau INI character mio, dia banyak pandai, Jacob, tungo sikit nanti u lagi sayang banyak mio, hehehe

6yr

NEidarousLv4

I like female lead; strong and fun. Interesting and entertaining story so far. Writing quality is good, Character designs is good as well. Great work author.

6yr

Luna1777Lv10

Interesting so far, I like the ML personality the most. I feel in the future, the girl will get 'play' by him and not her. Hahaha. Good job, keep going author~

6yr

Book_KeeperLv4

Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf. The review is as follows: Many of the same remarks that I made in your other novel, Magic of Ages, remain the same in this novel. Thus, I will only point out the differences. Mio doesn’t have as much appeal as Izzy, and the male characters aren’t as well defined or differentiated from character tropes as Ruben was. In general, everyone is following the designated character roles similar to novels with the same type of storyline. The plot as well, moves a little slower. Now, some of this may be due to the genre. Romance Fiction in a mundane world heavily relies on small elements, mainly the interpersonal relationships, as opposed to visual and action-oriented genres like Fantasy. Even so, try to include more varied actions that build up into a greater event. To differentiate these characters, think of their backstories, motivations, and idiosyncrasies. For comparison, view the full reviews of both which are linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/ After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again. Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)

6yr

DarkjokesLv12

This has been so fun to read. The moments between Mio and her minions are so fun to read and the chapters are decent size as well. Mio seems like a very interesting character tbh. Much more fun then your typical cliche Female Mc

6yr

Charlotte8Lv15

Hard to pick out what I like best about this story-the cute relationship Mio has with her minions Hong and Long, learning that Ayase isn't a ho and the transformation tomboy into lady, or the ambiguous Jacob and his weird bodyguard. Nicely done!

6yr

Angela_Hernandez_7851Lv3

Awesome

5yr

venkatreddybobbalaLv4

Reveal spoiler

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