This story was off to a decent start, with only a few inconsistencies, but it quickly went downhill from there. The author introduces several new elements to the story, only to suddenly remove them, as if he decided to suddenly change the direction of the story, with so apparent purpose, but the biggest issue I had with the story is the redundant info. In almost every chapter there are one or more entirely redundant paragraphs that either told me absolutely nothing or something that's so obvious a toddler wouldn't need it explained, and as a result I found myself skimming/skipping a lot of the story, and probably missing some of the important stuff. Author should really work on prioritizing what info to keep along instead of padding the story in excess, i.e. a full paragraph of monsters nearing the camp, but MC just had to release his aura so it wasn't a problem anyway. If it wasn't a problem anyway, don't bother telling people about it.
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Thank you for the review! Any criticism is appreciated, I'm just wondering, what elements are you referring to?
Spoiler alert: Both the princess/palace trip and the very sudden hero summoning just disappeared out of the story. I sort of assume that they will be reintroduced later, but the way they were written out gave no indication of that. It was the same with the lone hero that our MC guided to the town, as he was "gone" the moment he left MC's line of sight. Also, you gave no explanation for the hero summoning. It appeared like an ambush, but the princess suddenly knew that they had summoned them.. into the middle of a forest. That part made little sense. And the part about our MC's personality is a little confusing to me; he isn't at all afraid of death when he happily goes towards the human palace or into the necromancer's tomb, but he almost pees himself out fear that a random dwarf he runs into won't accept his friendship.
Tyrone_Bedoire:Thank you for the review! Any criticism is appreciated, I'm just wondering, what elements are you referring to?
First of all, the whole hero summoning and the lone hero being reintroduced later, I thought it was obvious, maybe not using the standards that a toddler would understand, but still. As for the dwarf part, first of all, you're exaggerating, and second of all, you know you can be afraid of different things right? Anyways, thank you for taking the time out of your day to respond, I appreciate it!
Gregorius:Spoiler alert: Both the princess/palace trip and the very sudden hero summoning just disappeared out of the story. I sort of assume that they will be reintroduced later, but the way they were written out gave no indication of that. It was the same with the lone hero that our MC guided to the town, as he was "gone" the moment he left MC's line of sight. Also, you gave no explanation for the hero summoning. It appeared like an ambush, but the princess suddenly knew that they had summoned them.. into the middle of a forest. That part made little sense. And the part about our MC's personality is a little confusing to me; he isn't at all afraid of death when he happily goes towards the human palace or into the necromancer's tomb, but he almost pees himself out fear that a random dwarf he runs into won't accept his friendship.
