webnovel
UnjustlyUnderpaid
UnjustlyUnderpaidLv46yr
2018-11-26 00:17

First I should mention that this is from liontrappedincave. Okay now about the novel. It’s good. The story is very well written with few grammatical errors. The ranking system was kept the same but I see that a new sort of element( I dubbed it The MC Ability) was added. From what I have read so far, the character designs are pretty decent and the plot is developing quite well. Plus it looks like the update schedule is very stable with at least a chapter or more a day. The world background leaves a bit more to be desired but considering this is a novel based on douluo dalu, I believe that the world will be introduced quite nicely in future chapters. My personal problem, which may or may not( I hope not) affect other people’s decision on whether they want to read the novel or not, is the text boxes. They are very condensed and if I lose my place for a second, then I have to search for where I just was and this could be a little annoying. Other than that the novel doesn’t seem bad. I look forward to where the author takes the story. Keep up the good work author and I wish all the best to you.

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The_Wulin
The_WulinAuthor

I realised that when I was writing my own stuff, so I am trying to make it smaller paragraphs now.

Other Reviews
AlexMercer
AlexMercerLv2

hello guys , This is a True review and my true feelings ,so don't think that i m angry or don't like ur novel , so i m replying like this. Warning ! Spoiler ! [ included ] { Many places i use ur for your and m for am . and so on . } //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 1. MC and his 2 future wives r too close from childhood and i think in future too . So no solo adventure or main focus or spotlight on mc [ i kinda can't explain clearly , but listen , Like chinese or other xuanyuan novels (name may be wrong). Where story focus purely on MC ] 2. Incest , i hate such stuff in reality , as i m not hungry of lust , i love my sisters so it's kinda hard to read such things for me. 3. MC too weak , even 3 wishes he literally wasted them. i understand author is trying to make him look not too OP. then don't give such options to begin with only to make him look like an idiot, 4. Of course i know in future he will be da*mn OP and fuc**g strong and may become GOD or you know ( like hongmeng ruler or such a thing which no one have ever reach ) 5. But what we want to see is present , not future. few people will like your story , but for me it's just bad or nuisance , so i m dropping 6. Same line died by truck kun All family died by spirit hall , at least for god sake try something new. this line has become too common. ( i have read many same fan-fic ) 7. Author try to make mc Cold but loving. Ruthless but not over the line. Girl or wives or GF intro should be there but dont force story on base of S*X ( at age of 12 lets loose virginity wtf ). Try to write good content instead of random lines and wasting your precious time on something useless ( at least for me , peace ) 8. Give us a picture of his adventure not random talks and famous cliche and same old lines in case of Fan-Fic , try to improve your creativity ( which i think you r in urgent nee ) . 9. Girl or wives or GF should be there but don't involve so much that it started looking like Romeo Juliet or lover story ok , or some S*X drama . They should appear but not in whole story. 10 MC should adventure alone and make new friends , gf ,wives. Of course dont forget old ones . meat them again in some places , fight along then go on [ just like most of the NOVELS ] Author if ur feeling hurt , i m sorry . But what i said is truth acc. to me , so don't take it on heart and work hard . i believe u will improve and be successful I want to give all the guys an example [ especially to authors who r reading it right now ] The Strongest Legend Of Dragon Ball [ i read it on LNMTL ] but guys have u read it If yes , u will be able to understand what i m going to talk [ https://lnmtl.com/novel/the-strongest-legend-of-dragon-ball ] LINK above A very Cool and Good and Best novel which is ruined by Author like that he would have no idea himself So don't rad it In this MC gf are 2 , later he married both. But main problem whole story around 1000+ Even 1 ch. rarely left where these 2 girls mentioned i not there. Even in final big fight which concern complete universe , these girls were fighting alongside. I just have one plea at least if someone like to make such novel at least mention a tag : Multiple MC or something alike otherwise after sometime it's truly frustrating. OK author i hope u will improve Thanks for reading it all guys now u can go [ Just go man ? ] Bye

DipTheDoggie
DipTheDoggieLv5
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DogLickerGods · Anime & Comics
4.7
621 Chs