Honestly grammar is pretty bad, and could use better spacing, but overall it's pretty good. I would recommend this only if you're bored because it's kinda cliche tho.
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LIKEOh yeah it also has a bit of forced development but meh
As in with some people it's really forced
Fallout_Armageddon:Oh yeah it also has a bit of forced development but meh
I added enough space between paragraph but I don't know why in some chapters. It's showing continues para without any gap. As you grammar I agree. But I don't think it's unreasonable, just a little problem with tense in few places.
I added enough space between paragraph but I don't know why in some chapters. It's showing continues para without any gap. As you grammar I agree. But I don't think it's unreasonable, just a little problem with tense in few places.
I was speaking about the beginning chapters you improved later on not on the grammar front but on the spacing. There is no argument on the forced relationships because it's just a fact there was no development just excuses as to why they feel close for example with Lily the excuse being she never felt close to anyone else so when she clicked with him she thought of him as a brother another example is Diana (the ice one I forget her name) they became close with the excuse of her body's constitution with the demon clan body and ice heart. Honestly I enjoy reading it and its pretty good but the relationship department is just overall lazy writing with no gradual development idk if it changes nor will I find out more then likely because I read alot of other things.
Evernightlord:I added enough space between paragraph but I don't know why in some chapters. It's showing continues para without any gap. As you grammar I agree. But I don't think it's unreasonable, just a little problem with tense in few places.
Slow romantic relationship development? Probably not. May be on the other novel which I am working on for somedays. But not in this one. But I agree with you relationship between Lily and Kai was forced and I only did it for plot advancement. As for Diana, readers may feel it's rushed but I read novel in which it's happen often specially in harem type novel so it's on to you. How you see it.
Fallout_Armageddon:I was speaking about the beginning chapters you improved later on not on the grammar front but on the spacing. There is no argument on the forced relationships because it's just a fact there was no development just excuses as to why they feel close for example with Lily the excuse being she never felt close to anyone else so when she clicked with him she thought of him as a brother another example is Diana (the ice one I forget her name) they became close with the excuse of her body's constitution with the demon clan body and ice heart. Honestly I enjoy reading it and its pretty good but the relationship department is just overall lazy writing with no gradual development idk if it changes nor will I find out more then likely because I read alot of other things.
At least you're not like some authors I've met not owning up to their faults lol most do that and on the Diana thing it was rushed no doubt but i never said that I never saw it before hell I've seen even quicker ones then that so yea
Evernightlord:Slow romantic relationship development? Probably not. May be on the other novel which I am working on for somedays. But not in this one. But I agree with you relationship between Lily and Kai was forced and I only did it for plot advancement. As for Diana, readers may feel it's rushed but I read novel in which it's happen often specially in harem type novel so it's on to you. How you see it.
