webnovel
BawMeaw
BawMeawLv66yr
2018-09-14 20:40

I like the story very much. Luciana's character seems to have a lot of potentials and she has a good friend. My pervy romantic mind wants them to end up as lovers... [Please add romance, add romance] \(^.^)/ Overall it's a good story. I hope to see how Lucina's journey continues with Torin in the future...

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
existing
existingAuthor

Thank you very much!!!! ♥️

Other Reviews
Book_Keeper
Book_KeeperLv4

Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf. A review excerpt is as follows: Characters: Amias - No real backstory or much of a clear or compelling reason to help Luciana. Personality isn’t very defined or unique. In other words, he doesn’t stand out/isn’t memorable. Luciana - She’s a little bit lackluster. In part, that IS her personality-stoic and introverted. But even the “quiet” ones have underlying, strong feelings, thoughts, fears, and motivations. She needs a little more depth and backstory so readers can better grasp her personality and uniqueness compared to any other stoic characters of other stories. Finally in chapter 11, we see a little into her inner struggle. “Truthfully, she's finding it hard to spar with another kid. Half of her mind keeps on telling her to kill him. …. how hard it was for her to keep her hands from dealing a killing blow.” Theon - Seems like the antagonist or is part of those “against” Luciana and her escape. Torin - A kindly man who takes an orphan in. Not much to say. He has a backstory on his family, but it doesn’t seem of much significance to plot except establishing a somewhat tragic backstory. Marcus, his friend, again, nothing to say. Oleander - “Torin explained to him about Luciana's past, and he now understand her introverted personality. Now, he no longer care even if most of the time, she ignored him. Torin also said, if he showed her kindness and stayed with her longer, they could be good friends in the future.” Poor boy; Torin has to explain to him about Luciana. Yet another kind person to help and try to understand her. .........(cont.) The full review is linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/ After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again. Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)

wizzynnorom
wizzynnoromLv5
yvxii
yvxiiLv3

Writing Quality: 3.5/5 Your chapters are well-written in the sense that there is vivid description which enhances your story. The structure of your chapters are good too, the paragraphs are separated decently. The only thing that's preventing me from fully enjoying your novel in regard to this aspect is the grammar and mechanics. There are a few abrupt changes in tense, and incorrect use of commas. You can easily fix this though, and it will improve the flow of the chapters. Stability of Updates: 5/5 The releases of your chapters are pretty consistent, keep it up ^ - ^ Story Development: 4/5 I like the development of your novel so far. You have introduced the background and situation of the protagonist, and brought your readers along with Luciana on her journey to become stronger. You haven't dragged out the introduction and instead written each event succinctly, which is a plus. I'm interested in reading how the story will progress ~ Character Design: 4/5 From the beginning of the first chapter, you have clearly presented the personalities of your characters. I like how you have described their physical features and also hinted at their personal motivations and backgrounds. You have utilised dialogue well, the nature of these characters are reflected in their conversations and interactions with one another. World Background: 4/5 One thing I really like about how you have executed your worldbuilding is the way you presented it. Readers can gain an understanding of the world not only through the description of the physical elements but also via the interactions and mannerisms of the characters. On the other hand, I recommend that you also add more sensory detail (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) in your writing. This way, your readers can immerse themselves deeper into the world you have created.

Related Stories

Hellbound Heart

[WARNING: MATURE CONTENT] - Izabelle had underestimated the fire she thought she was going to play with tonight. But how could she ever have foreseen that the man she had happened to come across with does not play with just a small fire, but a whole inferno? ___ Excerpt: "You going through this marriage with me might as well be like you digging your own grave. Because the moment you start to want more from me, I will divorce you. And the moment you break your promise and try to fight me… I will ruin you and break you apart completely. Mercilessly. You will regret ever meeting this devil tonight." His threat was given in the same soft but cold voice. But Elle did not even flinch. Her gaze never faltered either. This man was ruthless, and she knew that clearly. His eyes that moment promised nightmares and darkness without any promise of respite. But no matter what he says now, it would still not change her decision. She truly had no other choice. "I understand now…" she said quietly, steeling herself. "Since you don't trust that I will keep my word, how about we do this? You prepare the divorce documents beforehand now and I'll sign it. That way, once you decide to divorce me in the future, the papers would already have been signed and there would be no way I can trouble you about it. You would just need to send it to the lawyers and have it notarized." A heavy silence reigned before his quiet disbelieving laugh broke the silence. "I'm at a loss for words, Princess Izabelle." He looked wickedly amused. But then he started nodding in approval. "Fine, princess. I will marry you." ___ Instagram account: kazzenlx.x facebook page: author_kazzenlx Discord server: https://discord.gg/UGTA3A4 Cover is mine so don't use it. Cover Art by @azihidalgo Logo by @gisel.arts

KazzenlX · Fantasy
4.8
400 Chs

The Devil's Betrothed

[Main Plot Completed] A love doomed from the start, a lost cause, a losing battle—and yet, neither hearts are willing to let go until the very end. ----- Arlan Cromwell, the epitome of the perfect Crown Prince. All he wants is to live a normal life of a human but the life of a dragon is anything but normal. He has but one goal—to find his runaway betrothed and behead her. What happens when he discovers that the woman who has snagged his heart is the one he vowed to kill? Oriana, a Black Witch, disguising herself as a man, has spent her entire life on the run without knowing what she is running away from. When the mysteries of her past slowly catch up to her, she has no one to turn to…except Arlan. But when she learns that the man she has given her heart to is the same man who wants to kill her, how can she accept the cruel card life dealt her? Two people with secrets to keep, identities to hide, and answers to find. When the certain darkness threatens to take Oriana away, will the Dragon be able to protect his mate? ----- Excerpt- “If I knew you were my betrothed, I would have killed you the very first moment we met." Arlan's gaze darkened with hatred. “If I knew I was betrothed to you, I would have killed myself before you even killed me!” Oriana mirrored the same emotions as him. He pulled out a dagger and offered it to her. “It’s not too late. Just slit your throat with this and you'll bleed out painlessly.” She accepted the knife, her fingers clutching its handle tightly. The next moment, he was pressed against the wall and the knife was on the right side of his neck. “How about I try it on you first, my betrothed?” “Feel free to try. But when you fail, this knife will first taste your grandpa's blood, then yours.” Anger rose in her eyes, and the next moment, blood was flowing through the right side of his neck. She cut deep enough to severe an important blood vessel. “You should not have challenged me,” she sneered and stepped back, waiting for him to collapse. He simply smirked and brushed his finger along the deep wound on his neck. “Seems like you failed.” She watched the wound on his neck heal on its own and felt shocked to her bones. “You.. what are you?” “Guess?” ----- Instagram- mynovel.20 Facebook- Author mynoveltwenty

Mynovel20 · Fantasy
4.6
792 Chs