webnovel
Book_Keeper
Book_KeeperLv46yr
2019-02-02 09:33

Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf. A review excerpt is as follows: Characters: Amias - No real backstory or much of a clear or compelling reason to help Luciana. Personality isn’t very defined or unique. In other words, he doesn’t stand out/isn’t memorable. Luciana - She’s a little bit lackluster. In part, that IS her personality-stoic and introverted. But even the “quiet” ones have underlying, strong feelings, thoughts, fears, and motivations. She needs a little more depth and backstory so readers can better grasp her personality and uniqueness compared to any other stoic characters of other stories. Finally in chapter 11, we see a little into her inner struggle. “Truthfully, she's finding it hard to spar with another kid. Half of her mind keeps on telling her to kill him. …. how hard it was for her to keep her hands from dealing a killing blow.” Theon - Seems like the antagonist or is part of those “against” Luciana and her escape. Torin - A kindly man who takes an orphan in. Not much to say. He has a backstory on his family, but it doesn’t seem of much significance to plot except establishing a somewhat tragic backstory. Marcus, his friend, again, nothing to say. Oleander - “Torin explained to him about Luciana's past, and he now understand her introverted personality. Now, he no longer care even if most of the time, she ignored him. Torin also said, if he showed her kindness and stayed with her longer, they could be good friends in the future.” Poor boy; Torin has to explain to him about Luciana. Yet another kind person to help and try to understand her. .........(cont.) The full review is linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/ After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again. Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)

White Queen Ascending

existing
4.5
23 Chs

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Other Reviews
existing
existingAuthor

Hi author here! I'll rate my own novel 5 stars 😂😂 I wish you'd give this story a chance and add it to your libraries. Tho I'm a complete newbie in writing, I'll still try my best to make the story as good as I can.

6yr

Vegito_Blue
Vegito_BlueLv5

Five star review just because....................................................................................................................

6yr
wizzynnorom
wizzynnoromLv5

Reveal spoiler

6yr
o_KM_o
o_KM_oLv10

thanks for giving us an update although it's slow I am still anticipating it to read your novel. please give us an update soon! cant wait to read your next update. please keep up the good work. by the way I also like the flow of the story, and how the characters you made is interesting. cant wait for them to meet up in the future.

6yr
evaChi2126
evaChi2126Lv4

I just stumble this novel title on facebook. I hope this give a nice story format, expecting more because of the title ( crossfingers) 😂😊. Im quite fascinated with romance ang eastern fantasy right now.

6yr
DeJeL
DeJeLLv15

*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: I noticed at least one point wherein you used plural, but singular would have functioned better. Other than that, I honestly can't criticize... I heard another say you mixed tenses... either you fixed this or I just don't notice mixed tenses.;,;. Positive Feedback: If I did not critique you in it, I felt you did well... however, other than the fact that you had me wanting more from chapter one, nothing stood out to me. Personal Feedback: I enjoyed reading the novel thus far and will continue reading it in the future.;,;. Keep up the good work.;,;.

6yr
silentem
silentemLv11

The character development, the plot, the scenes, all of it is very catchy. At first, as I read this, I didn't thought that I would like it. But now, I'm loving it. An almost perfect story that needs to be shared. Author keep up the good work. Fighting! ❤❤❤❤

6yr
Ierrech
IerrechLv4

Overall the story is interesting and the plot is good. It's good where it matters - interesting, engaging and characters you can feel for and support. Nice writing for the conversations, emotional and meaningful! Feels like watching an anime. Areas for improvement: Very minor logical points which wont detract from story e.g. how she found out about the forest and path (maybe it is revealed later). Grammar and sentence structure (nothing an editor wont fix) Typos

6yr
yvxii
yvxiiLv3

Writing Quality: 3.5/5 Your chapters are well-written in the sense that there is vivid description which enhances your story. The structure of your chapters are good too, the paragraphs are separated decently. The only thing that's preventing me from fully enjoying your novel in regard to this aspect is the grammar and mechanics. There are a few abrupt changes in tense, and incorrect use of commas. You can easily fix this though, and it will improve the flow of the chapters. Stability of Updates: 5/5 The releases of your chapters are pretty consistent, keep it up ^ - ^ Story Development: 4/5 I like the development of your novel so far. You have introduced the background and situation of the protagonist, and brought your readers along with Luciana on her journey to become stronger. You haven't dragged out the introduction and instead written each event succinctly, which is a plus. I'm interested in reading how the story will progress ~ Character Design: 4/5 From the beginning of the first chapter, you have clearly presented the personalities of your characters. I like how you have described their physical features and also hinted at their personal motivations and backgrounds. You have utilised dialogue well, the nature of these characters are reflected in their conversations and interactions with one another. World Background: 4/5 One thing I really like about how you have executed your worldbuilding is the way you presented it. Readers can gain an understanding of the world not only through the description of the physical elements but also via the interactions and mannerisms of the characters. On the other hand, I recommend that you also add more sensory detail (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) in your writing. This way, your readers can immerse themselves deeper into the world you have created.

6yr
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