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Xrvds
XrvdsLv135yr
2019-08-07 18:50

I liked it until he started acting like a child. Good job on the chapters leading up to those. But I just find the childish stuff unneeded and poisonous to your story.

Liked by 7 people

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Replies1
Mynner
MynnerLv14

Think of it this way he had an abusive father and never had a childhood and also he never had a motherly figure until the auntie later on

Other Reviews
Morning_Fragrance
Morning_FragranceLv14

I'm going to give the first ACTUAL review. When making a review you don't do it because you like the novel but you want to give critique, saying that it's good or it's bad overall is unproductive. The writing quality and grammar is alright, the author can improve if he goes back and looks at other references to better convey the story. There has been some improvement in later chapters. Stability of updates is perfect but a bit shaky when the author tries to force chapters out because of the reader's demand. It's best to take the release of chapters step by step even if it takes you 50 years. Story development was interesting at first but the starting chapters of who the main character is doesn't correlate much with the later chapters, it's understandable since he got the mother figure and family that he's always wanted but a few years is a bit too short for change in my opinion. But it's fine since the story is still salvageable and it's also stable though I feel that some readers are getting pretty bored from the slug pace of the development. I've never watched or read Harry Potter so this is pretty much a blind road for me that I know a small bit of knowledge of. Character design is good but you can improve by trying to show more of what characters are feeling, I don't feel a connection with the characters since they feel like puppets with a small bit of emotions. World development is fucking Harry Potter, the author is sticking with that world's development besides the variable called the MC.

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