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TheGreedGod
TheGreedGodLv56yr
2018-08-10 02:21

Fellow Author deserves 5 stars. Lets see how it will turn out in the future. As an author I should have the talent to fill 140 restriction without bullsh*t. Here we go.

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BookGuardian
BookGuardianLv4

The world is pretty much non existent, the dialogue structure is a bit confusing because it interrupts the flow and suddenly switches the person of reference, which makes it a bit erratic. The character has no depth, nor any defining characteristics. They aren't even cardboard cut out but so much as stick figures? The maid who has only spoken a handful of times has the same personality development as the main character as of this point in time. There are events which happens, but aren't interesting nor do they add to the plot. Such as the rebellion in which his magical swords were needed for his brother's army. Or perhaps the main character getting back at the old dude at the auction house for swindling him. They are mentioned, but never go anywhere. The main character is literally being handed everything, and yet he is incredibly weak, but he's not hard working, climbing up the power rank to become stronger, nor is he the lazy or carefree type, he's also no the cold and ruthless killer that's a genius. This is a very strange system novel since the system itself isn't interesting and seems to only be a method of plot hole coverage/method of the author to suddenly say "screw the rules this is happening"? He's...actually just a loser? But not as in "yeah no duh dude he's supposed to be a loser, haven't you read the synopsis?" He's STILL a loser even after the system and months of being in the other world. He doesn't use his modern knowledge so his background is kind of redundant, he obviously doesn't carry our Morales either as someone from the 21st century. He's just not really interesting, the most expressive act of his we've had in 40+ chapters was when he was laughing about making money, but it wasn't very humorous in my opinion. Excessive greed and stupid schemes can be amusing if done correctly such as in Legendary Moonlight Sculptor for example to reference a famous work, but in this it felt stale and dry. A lot of time the nerd of loser has impressive knowledge of certain subjects (be they tropes such as in Everyone Else is a Returnee, surviving in the wild, common 21st century sense, science, math, army formations, COOKING etc) The biggest thing that attracts people to system and cultivation novels in my opinion is power fantasies and suspense. We enjoy the hype, the build up, the triumph of the hero defeating a foe who he couldn't before, the surpassing of ones limits, picking up hot chicks with different charms perhaps for those who like harems...the exploring of new worlds and realms...and yet for something who's premise is all about system and going to new worlds, even the first world isn't explained in more depth than a summary. "Spy Kids" or "Sharkboy and Lavagirl" (a really old movie that was made for kids around 10 years old) has a much better developed world and characters. The system is really boring, he literally doesn't do anything and it solves everything. Oh language barrier? 5 minutes and I solve it. Oh no cultivation method? You're useless and can't do anything? No problem here you go. Btw it'll automatically give you power and level up everyday just by you breathing! Spoiler alert The first world he went to was walking dead...Why? Of all the world possible...why that one? And why take his cousin? In fact why take any other character especially when they have no personality to speak of and when theres so much you could still flesh out of your currently world? It seemed like the author was just..bored? or too lazy to continue and so he said screw it and pulled a Deus Ex Machina...literally....Also, the walking dead isn't a good choice because its full of normal zombies..slow stupid and not a threat to someone who's supposedly 5 times stronger than a normal person and can use magic, who also has a master magical elf maid, and who also has a PESUDO DEMI GOD in the form of a body guard...and yeah I guess you could have them evolve...but that ruins the premise of the series in and of itself, especially when you have them try to follow the plot even though its completely illogical to do so? I mean you might as well use Resident Evil or something else? It seems as if the author only does so as to bandwagon on the success and hype of a well known series to attempt to boost his own because of a lack of creative process in the works of this novel. This is like in a Naruto fanfic where they give Naruto the Sharingan, but the plot still follows the Naruto series perfectly. Not even in the Sims game are the characters so unresponsive to the world. Not a bad concept (not anything original either, but I'm a sucker for these over used tropes) but I honestly think the author would be better off starting over from scratch and taking his or her time to rework everything, flesh out the plot and the characters, establish the world, plan ahead. It could become a worth wild read. Maybe take some time to read Terror Infinity who has a similar basis for inspiration.

BigBootyLover
BigBootyLoverLv5
Azathothgrim
AzathothgrimLv14
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The Transmigration cannon fodder overthrows the male protagonist.

This is books isn’t mine I’m just editing and translating all rights goes to rightful owners the picture and story novel. there’s so much smut recommendations (+18) *********** She was an average company employee, but she unexpectedly died in a car accident. Fortunately—or not, her soul synchronized with a shameless system called “Take Down the Male Protagonist” which is classified as a “Capture” system. To be exact, the main point of this system is to capture the male protagonist’s… pen*s. “Come here! We need to deepen our mutual understanding and have ourselves a good pillow talk—no, no! I mean, let’s just have a good chat about life!” “Where is the newbie package?! What about my employee’s benefits?! Hey, System, don’t pretend to bug out all of a sudden, hand them over!” “Hmm, let’s see…the employee’s benefits are pretty good… pretty good… But, you mind telling me what the heck are these ‘Ten Great Tools’? This… What on earth is this scent that’s coming from my body?? And just what is this ‘instant recovery constitution’ that supposedly will let me ‘play to my heart’s content without being broken’?! System, get your ASS out here! We need to talk! Are you for real or just pulling my leg?!” “I never agreed to take down these male protagonists! Not a single one of them follows the prescribed storyline. I don’t want to end up under them; they are simply too awful! None of their words can be trusted—not a single one!! Out of all their lies, the worst are ‘Be obedient, I won’t move.’, ‘Believe me, this will be the last time.’ and, ‘I just want to kiss you!’ “System, the settings must be incorrect! These guys are completely unlike the plot description! I’m feeling so wronged here!!!”

Areum_Aera · Others
Not enough ratings
204 Chs