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SlyOW
SlyOWAuthor6yr
2018-07-11 00:14

Hi author there. This is my first story and english is not my first language so I hope you will give me some advice P.S. I rated myself 5 star and I don't think it's shameful as I won't go arond telling my story is sh*t

Liked by 28 people

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Replies19
lfyy
lfyyLv4

I liked the first chapter.

SlyOW
SlyOWAuthor

Thanks!

lfyy
lfyyLv4

how many chapter for day will you make?

SlyOW:Thanks!
SlyOW
SlyOWAuthor

1 Chapter per day I will put it in the synopsis

lfyy:I liked the first chapter.
SlyOW
SlyOWAuthor

But I will post the second chapter in a few minutes

lfyy:I liked the first chapter.
ExtremePrejudice
ExtremePrejudiceLv6

please fix the dialogues . and please dont mash up sentences.its hard to read when you need to focus more to know who is saying the sentence. or who is talking .

Chaotic_Winter
Chaotic_WinterLv13

is there harem??

CliffkunLolRekt
CliffkunLolRektLv6

there a harem pls let there be a harem

CliffkunLolRekt
CliffkunLolRektLv6

you get that a reply about the harem brother sage

Chaotic_Winter:is there harem??
Chaotic_Winter
Chaotic_WinterLv13

So there is? And any mature scene??

CliffkunLolRekt:you get that a reply about the harem brother sage
CliffkunLolRekt
CliffkunLolRektLv6

I was asking you if you know if there is a harem ? ill jump in to find out tomorrow to see if there is a harem

Chaotic_Winter:So there is? And any mature scene??
Chaotic_Winter
Chaotic_WinterLv13

o***, actually, I think I was the one asking, well if you do find out do tell me :)

CliffkunLolRekt:I was asking you if you know if there is a harem ? ill jump in to find out tomorrow to see if there is a harem
CliffkunLolRekt
CliffkunLolRektLv6

there a harem in this novel

SlyOW:Thanks!
Chaotic_Winter
Chaotic_WinterLv13

is there a harem??

SlyOW:Thanks!
Aagnus
AagnusLv14

There will be more chapters right? It's still not the end?

The_Rad_One
The_Rad_OneLv13

Hey is there romance/harem?

SlyOW:Thanks!
Kurotora
KurotoraLv15

Is Kyo a reincarnator or just really smart?

TwinHeart
TwinHeartLv5

At first I thought this was gonna be a pokemon/naruto fusion fan fiction and thought that would be interesting but i was disappointed

DreamT
DreamTLv5

Dear Author I have come across your story of naruto but can't open the chapters because it's deleted Please Fix It and bless us with your story

Other Reviews
WoodenWindow
WoodenWindowLv11

This story is about a prodigy from the Uchiha clan who was born before the second ninja war. Unfortunately it lacks in character development and is mainly a poorly thought out wishfulfillment novel. Writing quality: The author does not seem to know what paragraphs are. This combined with long sentences makes for a poor reading experience. The grammar and spelling are not that great either but passable at least. Story development: Shortened academy arc followed by the second ninja war. Standard stuff for naruto fanfictions. After the academy thee MC seems to just go rambo on everything he meets, no matter the matchups. Higher level opponent? GO IN FOR THE KILL! Heavily outnumbered? GO IN FOR THE KILLS! Anyone with less plot armor would be a corpse already, not to mention some victories make no sense with 2vs1000 fights happening and somehow being won solely because he's the MC. On top of that he somehow gets everyone's respect cause he's awesome and keeps winning fights he has no business winning. Wish fulfillment without actual good ideas or planning from the MC, he just jumps into everything and wins by pure plot armor. Stability of updates: Chapters are frequent. Characters: The MC is a prodigy who has the goal of becoming stronger. The character itself is incredibly 2D since the MC only cares for jumping into battles and gets angry when someone he knows is hurt and does not seem to have other traits. The side characters are cardboard cutouts as well, they are mentioned by name and ninja rank but do not seem to do anything besides telling the MC to care for his friends and fight enemies. There's no humour, interesting quotes or actually developed personalities to be found. World Background: Absolutely terrible. The entire ninja village structure of the second SHINOBI war has been changed to modern army structures, somehow the villages have at least 10x more shinobi than in canon. Just to enable the MC to go on huge killing sprees everything ninja has been destroyed for easy targets. It has changed a great world background into something that makes no sense instead of adding a unique twist. Either limit changes to a functional background or make sure the characters can use the changes to add an interesting spin to the story. In this case all we get is a loss of strategy and mindgames in exchange for unbelievable fights with tons of plot armor.

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