I like the story so far, but I would like to offer proofreading/adjustments for the grammar & punctuation. Lack of capital letters & lots of small mistakes are made and it would be an easier read if they were corrected. The mistakes are not the type that make it too annoying for me to bother reading the story though, so consider yourself among my prefered 30% of fanfiction writers, keep it up!
bloodycake
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