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Zaxihk
ZaxihkLv46yr
2018-10-30 21:22

As much as i´d like to read this story it gets rather difficult to continue, at least for me. The setting itself is nothing new, with the usual beastkin, magic, and so on. Of course there is nothing at all wrong with that setting. My main issue with the story is the flow of the plot in general. The setup isn't ideal, but the main issue is the pacing of various event that unfolds in the story. To put it simply, it's way too fast. For instance it takes Keita somewhat along 5 lines to fight the "strongest royal knight" and win with some previously completely unmentioned power from a deceased(?) vampire. For now i'm going to pause reading the story, and i sincerely hope that the author considers slowing down the story.

Devil's Knight: Love After Death

D3vilL0rdM4ch1na
Not enough ratings
28 Chs

Liked it!

LIKE
Replies1
D3vilL0rdM4ch1na
D3vilL0rdM4ch1naAuthor

Thanks for your honest opinion. I'm trying to slow down my story so that more can be understood. I had been noticing points that were a bit fast after looking over again and I plan to learn from this.

6yr
Other Reviews
Comicontagious
ComicontagiousLv10

Wow, I'm only just beginning, but Keitas character truly captures the hardships of many adolescents today. Its deep! Compelling! And a b9ok you just won't want to put down!

6yr

TrueDawn
TrueDawnLv13

Thr story is at the end of the time to get a chance to break through to the point of view of the time to get a chance to break through to the point of view of the time to get a chance to break through to the point of view of the time to get a chance to break through to the point of view of the time to get a chance to break through to the point of view of the time to get a chance to break through to the point of view

6yr
Soul55
Soul55Lv10

Dude love it.. But it's too fast.Slow down a little your arguements and moral quandaries last all of a paragraph stop it stretch it out give them real character not shallow shadows of real emotion 2

6yr
MASTERGENERALG
MASTERGENERALGLv2

Very good progression with the story with a stable amount of updates. As someone who is very critical about what they read i would have to say that this story is very well structured and would recommend to others.

6yr
aaron46l
aaron46lLv1

This story is one of the better online stories I've read and the writer puts so much into developing characters and plot. Characters really show up in the story and integrate quite quickly into the plot. Writing at times can be a little bit underdeveloped but otherwise, this is a great story.

6yr
D3vilL0rdM4ch1na
D3vilL0rdM4ch1naAuthor

So, I've been writing this for a good few weeks now and I've come to realise one thing. I personally think that I've come a long way since I first started planning the story a year ago, I've made many edits to the original and extended on my character development so far, even on little characters like Erika. Even so, I feel like I could still do much better. I've realised that I'm not going to improve unless I get feedback from the ones who are reading right now. Please be honest with your feedback, otherwise I won't be able to improve my writing at all. All I really ask is that you enjoy the story, and help me improve my writing skills.

6yr
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