webnovel
DeJeL
DeJeLLv156yr
2018-08-03 09:18

*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: I saw "Don't read this story. It's not worth your time." as the synopsis, I would only use something along similar lines if you dropped the novel, and then you should include the word dropped somewhere in the synopsis. Also, if you did drop the novel, I'd suggest publishing a new chapter saying such then deleting all the other chapters due to how short the story is as is. Two months is too long for a web novel unless on hiatus, and then such should be made clear.;,;. The plot felt slow, I am not really sure what to say about that though.;,;. Positive Feedback: Your world building is progressing at a good rate in comparison to your plot, and I really like the character development. Personal Feedback: I thought the story was too slow. I can see that there is a decent plot coming together, but I still can't begin to see the next milestone due to the lack of speed, thus I will not be continuing this story.

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Other Reviews
Kimmyah
KimmyahLv5

First of all, I viewed your story in a reader's POV and not as a professional or something so you may find some fault in my review. There's something that I need to point out and here it goes: Just like what you said here in your review and author's note, the prologue was really too much to handle. It doesn't (you know) pull a reader to read the next chapters. Prologue is an introduction, you did a good job in it as a whole, I like how you ended it but you should tone down on your choices of word (I think it is the main reason that it's hard for a reader like me to continue, there's a lot of words that I don't understand hahaha) Aside from that, on your chapter 4 (the filler chapter) there's a phrase that has been bugging me for a while so I will point it out "You cannot afford to be heard, even when you are injured - especially when you injured. Bla bla" The part where you said especially when you injured, I feel that there's something lacking on it or it's entirely wrong but anyhow I hope you can fix it because it makes the reader confused. Other than that, I like how you narrate your story (You did a great job on it!) , especially when you're describing the things or the background, it makes the story realistic because the reader can also imagine the places, the person and etc. Overall, keep up the good work fellow author! I'll try to finish your story, I'm still in Chapter 6 and all I could say is the storyline is great so far. P.S please do keep in mind that I'm not familiar with this genre, so if you find fault on the things that I said, you can just disregard it.

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