webnovel
gold7
gold7Lv56yr
2018-07-09 12:18

pengembangan cerita masih harus ditingkatkat lagi serta latar belaknag dunia yang harus agak diperluas dan karakter yang digambarkan harus mudah diingat oleh para pemabaca

Liked by 3 people

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Replies3
blushad
blushadLv4

What?

Kritiko
KritikoLv10

3 stars because you can't understand English? Muhahahahaha!

Whozian
WhozianLv10

Translation: The development of the story has yet to be improved again and the background of the world that should be somewhat expanded and the characters portrayed should be easily remembered by the readers Sorry for any errors

Other Reviews
Daoist_Paradox
Daoist_ParadoxLv4

Not reading the complete novel yet still reviewing it makes this review less authentic, however let me share my thoughts on it. *** 01. The Plot Mix-Up. The plot of the novel seems good and properly aligned to how a web novel should be. However, the author just dumped a whole lot of plot at the beginning. The start should've been slow with the MC exploring the world and raising his strength in the tutorial village. But suddenly his 'first wife' who's a succubus comes and unfolds the readers some damn big plot, which is a given. However it broke the link to the ongoing plot and made me feel that what's going on right now is a waste of time. In short, it just killed the tension a reader has for the Protagonist. The tension here was the question of how the MC is going to increase his strength and status, how would he survive in the new world. Also, after breaking the beginner plot with the huge plot, the beginner plot continues again which I found very weird. For me the plot just didn't flow naturally. 02. The Humiliated Protagonist. Okay, this point might create an argument since there are different types of readers. Some are casual, some are invested in the story but still independent, while others are immersive readers. I am the third kind, an immersive reader. For this reason I don't like if the MC is humiliated or acts like a loser. Since I'm reading a web novel, I'm here for the MC getting high in his life, getting all the wealth, women, power and status. However the beginning was a little disappointing for me. Yes, it's incorrect to criticize just for this since the plot would develop, however the starting chapters unfortunately didn't catch my interest. 03. Dumb MC Are dumb MC's bad? Of course not. If the story needs it, a dumb MC can enrich the plot. However, for a moment just imagine. You're suddenly transmigrated into another world. You don't know anything about it, except that you perhaps might be a Protagonist material according to the web novels you've read. You don't know anybody, and you don't know the intentions of the people around you. You don't know the world's history or culture, but you know that there are similar people like him that have come from other worlds. You don't have money or anything, and you didn't even have any clothes when you arrived. So would you make some bet to date a girl, or would you try your best to make yourself safe? Yes, the MC later acquires god-like powers and perhaps nobody would be able to harm him, but what I'm talking here was his attitude. Unfortunately I was here for some scheming and strategies and stuff like that, but the story beginning was a little different. *** In the end, this story is not for me, but it might be for you.

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