Review Detail of hawlol in Rebuilding the Sun Kingdom!
Review detail
Slapstick comedy with a serious plotline just doesn't work. Let me clarify: Slapstick is pure comedy. Everything is about the jokes. The characters can be as goofy as needed and the plot is lighthearted and can be as hollow and faulty as needed. No one cares about plot holes in pure comedy, since the plot is there only to carry the jokes. The best example is Konosuba: every plot device in the story is meant to carry you to new jokes. Now the second form is the most common. Jokes in a serious plot. It's what has been done in every Marvel and Romance Comedy movies in decades, but it's also hard to do. The joke can't make holes in the plot, nor can it break immersion, mainly because the story is a serious one. The joke is used to diffuse ******* and add variety. In this novel though, we have a serious story filled with jokes that will totally break the immersion and fill it with plot holes and dumb reasonings. That's why it doesn't work and the jokes will come as forced while you lose interest and stop being invested in the story. Example: The goddess chooses a pervert dumbass for her hero by mistake (the MC). He falls down in the world and more than 2k people immediately accept him as their new king, including an old general. He also uses a donkey as a mount because the other people are using the horses, even in battle and diplomatic missions. The goddess gives the humans an incredible stupid and useless magic that serves only as a joke. Does this seem like serious plot devices to you? Yet the story deeply delves in wars against races, the human's plight, resource management, tactics to defeat enemies, all in a serious tone. It just doesn't match. My second complain is the excess of mundane. When I'm reading fantasy I expect fantastic unnatural things(duh), but in this world everything is magical, except for humans. They still walk around just poking things with pointy sticks. They have no magic nor use any magical things. It's boring middle ages settings. The last thing was pacing. 20 chapters for the MC to get used to the camp and intercept a patrol of their giant-bull-like enemies. Quite alot of chaps wasted on prep time and things that didn't set the plot forward. I don't know if it's possible to integrate slapstick comedy and a serious plotline, but this is definitely not it.
Rebuilding the Sun Kingdom!
Pastare
Liked by 13 people
LIKEReplies8
What I care about is supporting the community centered around the small writers of web novels . I have never ever given a low score to an indie writer that was writing for free. I would never be so arrogant and selfish. All you are doing is penalizing his efforts and jeopardizing the future of the web novel. Yes the author should be able to handle criticism and that seems to the case for this one. But when there is something wrong I tell it to the writer in the comments. Because at the end of the day you do not pay him, no one pays him its a hobby, something that takes hours of work everyday and all he gets ack for it are reviews and comments. Even if we do not enjoy the final work we should not slap him in the face for it. And I am sorry you say my argument is "because I say so" but it's the same for you only with more words. You nitpick scenes scratch every thing in between and decide, because you said so, its slap stick. You decide, because you said so, that the serious tone of the novel does not fit the slap stick. I disagree. Because I said so.
We have a different view on the role of original novels. For me, Authors write for free in an open plataform like this to polish their skills and get feedback from the readers. To find what works and what doesn't. If they already had a complete set of writing skills they could just write the whole damn book and publish it on amazon or something. I doubt that most authors just want to go premium on webnovel. Not giving an proper review is what would damage the most, by keeping them on the dark about things that the readers don't like. Let's also add the fact that if everyone though like you every novel would just have 5 stars and readers would have a hard time knowing what's bad and what's good. People like you are the real assholes, because while not even being the author, reacts so badly to useful critique and spouts random bull**** to try and stop people from exerting their free speech. Go complain to the webnovel team and make them remove reviews or something, but don't come to my comments to try telling me what you think I can or can't say in my personal review. If you don't agree just move along and quit being a child. As for the slapstick part there are several and sequential examples in the review that shows WHY it's a slapstick. I even made the question "Do you think this are serious plot devices?". It just shows you didn't even bother reading the actual review before *****ing in the comments. From now on you're being ignored. Cheers and grow up!
You two are a good reader, you just have different perspective. I am sure the author is thankful to have you both.
Teeminter:What I care about is supporting the community centered around the small writers of web novels . I have never ever given a low score to an indie writer that was writing for free. I would never be so arrogant and selfish. All you are doing is penalizing his efforts and jeopardizing the future of the web novel. Yes the author should be able to handle criticism and that seems to the case for this one. But when there is something wrong I tell it to the writer in the comments. Because at the end of the day you do not pay him, no one pays him its a hobby, something that takes hours of work everyday and all he gets ack for it are reviews and comments. Even if we do not enjoy the final work we should not slap him in the face for it. And I am sorry you say my argument is "because I say so" but it's the same for you only with more words. You nitpick scenes scratch every thing in between and decide, because you said so, its slap stick. You decide, because you said so, that the serious tone of the novel does not fit the slap stick. I disagree. Because I said so.
