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Review Detail of evolx24 in Golden Falcon

Detalhe da revisão

evolx24
evolx24Lv23yrevolx24

Now you -> So besides, saying that your novel is great etc, I'll try to provide more insights. Sometimes there were narrative perspective changes from explanatory to commentary, I think it kinda breaks the 4th wall. I found "some" of your dialogues structures to be a bit weird. Perhaps you should try to make it more alive. (Specifically in the very beginning). Try to play with "Name of the character & He /she", sometimes you repeat the same name too many times in one paragraph. It is better if you add names and who said what at the end of the dialogues. Personally, loads of people complained about that when I wrote dialogues without names - back in the days. Apart from that, it is a good read. The dialogues/description ratio seems also good. Good job!

Golden Falcon

Ron_Azure

Curtido por 1 pessoas

GOSTAR

Respostas1

Ron_Azure
Ron_AzureAutorRon_Azure

thank you sensei😁