evolx24

Now you -> So besides, saying that your novel is great etc, I'll try to provide more insights. Sometimes there were narrative perspective changes from explanatory to commentary, I think it kinda breaks the 4th wall. I found "some" of your dialogues structures to be a bit weird. Perhaps you should try to make it more alive. (Specifically in the very beginning). Try to play with "Name of the character & He /she", sometimes you repeat the same name too many times in one paragraph. It is better if you add names and who said what at the end of the dialogues. Personally, loads of people complained about that when I wrote dialogues without names - back in the days. Apart from that, it is a good read. The dialogues/description ratio seems also good. Good job!

Well, you know how to write! It is a quality read really, the only thing I didn't like was the way you handle the dialogues because it is never clear who speaks to whom. Perhaps you should take care of that part. Otherwise, great job author!

Thanks! That's the idea actually. I'll defo check "Gosick" out :)

Thanks for the support!

Hello, I've seen that you copy-pasted the same message to tons of people so... What is the platform that you are talking about?