Review Detail of Yuri_is_Ntr in Vongola The Sky King
Detalhe da revisão
Well, is it a good work? Eh, I'm not sure. I was really in idea of reborn fanfic with harem and for the male audience. Without genderbend tsuna who goes for all boys. But that's like abrigade version of original with worse grammar. Should I commend and praise for keeping this r-15 shounen vibe of the story? I'm not sure, it's feel bland. Especially how characters interact between each other's. That's need a lot of work for sure. Either way, I'm a weird guy that actually see potential of flame powers and most weird, in gender-bend of some characters. But than we have a lot of friendship is magic bs that I highly dislike, with a lot of boys in a group that I certainly don't care in harem fanfics. And a lot of boring trainings, sure they're important for future build up. But you can watch anime and get that training don't take that much time, and most importantly, they are connected to some minor stories to keep audience interested. In the end. I willing to like the concept of work, idea behind it. But what exactly I read not inspiring and boring.
Vongola The Sky King
LazySatanixDevil
Curtido por 1 pessoas
GOSTARRespostas3
Thanks for the review and do you have any suggestions do I can not make this fic less more boring or bland or inspiring and also about the character interaction do you have a tip on that. and about that training part I honestly just ran out of ideas on what they can do before canon so I had just put those there.
I wasn't up for a latest chap, but you writting by big blocks of text, already unfriendly for reader. Cramming in those blocks speech is not great either. Maybe you writting through a phone? Either way, just try to think about characters and how they would act, they personality. When you understand basic outline it's would be a bit easier. I'm most iffy about this shounen vibes that I got, with a lots of friendship and whatnot. Plus looking over training all the time is not that intresting.
LazySatanixDevil:Thanks for the review and do you have any suggestions do I can not make this fic less more boring or bland or inspiring and also about the character interaction do you have a tip on that. and about that training part I honestly just ran out of ideas on what they can do before canon so I had just put those there.
Yeah I only did the training for the early parts to build there power for a bit. yeah and the big line of text I just get to long about when they talk a long time or I made the sentence to long so It turned into a long one.
Yuri_is_Ntr:I wasn't up for a latest chap, but you writting by big blocks of text, already unfriendly for reader. Cramming in those blocks speech is not great either. Maybe you writting through a phone? Either way, just try to think about characters and how they would act, they personality. When you understand basic outline it's would be a bit easier. I'm most iffy about this shounen vibes that I got, with a lots of friendship and whatnot. Plus looking over training all the time is not that intresting.