Che3na

This piece of the draft takes me out of the story quite, but it also reminds me of a post on r/writing on Reddit on things people personally avoid when writing. On that post, the top comments talk about this mirror trope, where one person says that people don't usually give detailed descriptions of their appearance because the character has no reason to do this; it is just a normal day for them. So, maybe write a bit more beforehand to add a reason for the character to list their appearance, or just use another method to visualize the character for the reader. Honestly, I think the whole post and community are good to read to try to improve your drafts, so I encourage you to look up u/Striking-Meal-5257 (the OP of the post) and r/writing.

+1

+1

This nice, but this needs grammarly or something like that cause this grammar is kinda weird

Nice

Xp

Hentai-foundry

Good shi