That a good idea, Thank for the Review

Thanks for the Review

Thank you for pointing that out, I included the field spell with the attack points but it was wiped out by heavy storm. The attack points are fixed now

Your story need improvement, First you need to fix the paragraphs in your story. There just three massive word blocks, They need to be way smaller. The next issue you need to fix is character development. I have no reason to keep reading this since all your characters read like cardboard cuts out to me. You need to add details to everything. I have no idea why your character even wants to be in the tournament in the first place. You going to need more then just wanting to enter a another event for a valid reason. I recommend looking at other good story's and copy their format for writing story's

I would suggest you use Grammarly to check the English version for mistakes. Also try to make the chapter at least one thousand words, also you need to explain the motive of why your character want to be strong. why does he want to become strong, did something happen in his past that want to make him stronger so no one can step on him. Finally most authors tend to confuse the characters end goal with a motive behind their actions.

If you improve your grammar, more people will move past chapter one. I would recommend that you look at other well-written stories to get an idea of what you should be doing. Also, you need to focus on how to describe your character's actions and thoughts better. Next, you should start reading Wattpad stories to understand what terrible quality fanfiction is. Finally, If your fanfiction looks like something from Wattpad, your going to need to improve your grammar.(You also need to make your chapters longer)

Walking dead if the author wants to be mean to their self insert. The walking dead outbreak starts after the end of breaking bad. So it possible with all the Easter eggs of breaking bad in the walking dead. Pretty sure that Merle had some blue meth and worked as a dealer for someone who sounds like Jesse. It would be messed up that all of his investments turn to ash once the outbreak happened.

If you improve your grammar, more people will move past chapter one. I would recommend that you look at other well-written stories to get an idea of what you should be doing. Also, you need to focus on how to describe your character's actions and thoughts better. Next, you should start reading Wattpad stories to understand what terrible quality fanfiction is. Finally, If your fanfiction looks like something from Wattpad, your going to need to improve your grammar.(A general guide that I wrote so you can improve your writing)(Also avoid reusing canon to start your story)

Their is no need to tell us the readers the starting events of Mha again, everyone knows what a superpower is. That just a waste of chapter one and the second chapter it just them finding out he quirk less like in canon

https://worm.fandom.com/wiki/Worm_Wiki

If you improve your grammar, more people will move past chapter one. I would recommend that you look at other well-written stories to get an idea of what you should be doing. Also, you need to focus on how to describe your character's actions and thoughts better. Next, you should start reading Wattpad stories to understand what terrible quality fanfiction is. Finally, If your fanfiction looks like something from Wattpad, your going to need to improve your grammar.

If the Author wanted to be mean towards his self insert, he could introduce Merle from the Walking Dead. There is mention that he was a dealer for someone like jessie. An upcoming zombie outbreak would really mess up any plans for retirement. He might have to go back into the trade to get cash for supplies for his girlfriend and himself. The walking dead outbreak did start at the summer of 2010

+1

I am curious what world the mc is in. I think you should add it in the tags so more people can read it. unless your planning to keep it hidden

I can honestly say that the main character is really designed well. The psychopath character actions are really thought out well compared to other mentally insane characters. Most evil character just kill because their bat shit crazy or want power without describing their thoughts process. I can see why the character act due to his lack of morals. The plot seems to flow well for now.

I can say you did a really good job with your psychopath MC. His motives are really well built compared to other evil MC.I mean most evil MC are either kill just for power with no reason behind it or evil just because their insane. The Main Characters actions are really fleshed out with their own unique logic due to his lack of morals

Their also card of demise{anime effect}would work really well in your character deck.

Justin got an upgrade from ruthless group leader to a ruthless King. All I got to say is keep up the grind.