ydoBoN

I am enjoying the story. I appreciate its slow pace and attention to detail in world-building. However, I do have a concern about the repetitive content. The scenes where the characters steal from gangs felt somewhat repetitive, as they seemed quite similar. That aside, I’m really liking the story. I remember you incorporated an idea about powers from a previous comment, so I have some suggestions inspired by famous vampire lore (excluding the typical Dracula abilities like shapeshifting, hypnotization, etc.). 1. **Memory/Skill Devour**: The ability to consume memories, potentially learning skills from them. 2. **Magical Aptitude**: Vampires generally possess stronger magical abilities than humans. 3. **Blood Bending**: Similar to the concept in *Avatar: The Last Airbender*, the control of blood. 4. **Biological Manipulation**: Typically tied to the vampire's own blood, this power allows them to affect other biological life forms connected to it. 5. **Empathic Powers**: The ability to sense and manipulate others' emotions. 6. **Blood Adaptation**: Some vampires can acquire weaker versions of their victim's powers, with these abilities growing stronger the more blood they consume. 7. **Phasing Ability**: The power to shift density and pass through solid objects, like walls. 8. **Mist Form**: The ability to transform into mist. 9. **Life Sensing**: The ability to sense (or smell) any nearby living creatures. 10. **Soul Devour**: Similarly to Ragman from DC, some Vampire can absorbs the souls of victims they fully drain obtaining their whole essence. Meaning eating 10 people while give you the speed, strength, intelligence and wisdom of 10 men. So the power of a normal human x 10. Combine with memory devour you can have a type of Hive mind situation. 11. **Magical Claws/Teeth**: Their claws and teeth have the ability to magically pierce any type of flesh, whether human or superhuman. Feel free to mix and match any of these ideas!

I am enjoying this story quite a lot, it's one if the few adventure time story with actual plot. The authors is not afraid of going his own way yet still remain somewhat faithful to the story. I do see grammar issues, which I recommend chat gpt for proof reading. Besides that I thank you for your work

I’ll be completely honest, I just finished reading the last ten chapters, and you’ve completely changed my opinion. The plot and world-building have skyrocketed, and the character development and drama have surpassed anything seen before.

Cane is overly 'Gary Stu,' resolving every problem with little to no consequences. The author also struggles with specific grammatical errors, such as repetitive phrasing within the same paragraph. Additionally, they have issues with punctuation, often misusing commas and periods, which leads to sentences that are too long. Besides that it's a solid story.

I and too confuse to have an opinion.

Damn bro, ruthless!!! Still thanks for the warning.

I have no idea why the Rating of this story is so high, I tried it based on the stellar reviews but it was a disappointment. The grammar is just bad. Borderline unreadable, the story is quite messy, the pacing is all over the place, the interaction between characters feel fake and the overall plot is just basic.

What are you on? The grammar is horrific. Present, past and future tense are all combined into a chaotic mess, that pacing is all over the place and finally the character develop makes no sense.

I think you made Hanzo too cartoonishly evil. His goal is to rule the village while also strengthening it. Granted, he did have a strong hatred for the Uchiha, but I can't see him deliberately ruining a new 'Konoha-exclusive' bloodline just for the sake of creating a single super soldier. He is less direct and way more manipulative. Additionally, considering the kidnapping happened in the middle of their compound, I can't imagine Fugaku would leave the MC alone and unguarded in a hospital while in a coma. Lastly, how is it possible that the discussion with the Hokage focused more on the MC than on figuring out who tried to kidnap a clan princess and how they managed to infiltrate the village?"

I'm gonna cry 😢. You do you bro, Hope you get better.