Your Stereotypical Rebirth - 1

I don't think I need to bore you with the "being conscious while being born sucks" spiel. It's been well overdone by now. Though being thrown out into the world by my parents right after birth was extremely weird. No joke, I was stuck at the side of a random road for some time. A thankfully I was found by a traveling merchant and taken to Konoha. I was more of an abandoned child rather than a true orphan. I don't blame my parents though; I am the one who chose this route in the first place.

A couple of months after my arrival into the orphanage, the Nine-Tails attacked. I got a front-row seat and watch the destruction that ensued. Nearly shat myself at the sheer amount of power on display in the battle. True to my perk, I was indeed uncared for and was left behind in the orphanage as the beast recked havoc, stranded and alone. Though I was salvaged from the wreckage afterward. Yay, I got to live still, even after being neglected twice.

It wasn't entirely my perk's fault for some of the issues that appear later on. After Naruto was moved to the orphanage and some years had passed by, I discovered that I was growing up to be a red-headed version of Orochimaru, with pale skin and yellow snake-like eyes and all. The same man who had betrayed the leaf about a year ago. All I was missing was the eye make-up and the super long hair.

I would almost believe it if someone were to say I was a secret artificial child of Kushina and Orochimaru, at least if it wasn't for the fact that I remember my birth and that my civilian parents are still alive and kicking, I think. Both my parents have red hair, though not Uzumaki Red (same color, none of the bloodline perks).

All of this just feels like a way to make my previous comment about me looking like a pedophile come back to bite me in the ass. On the other hand, Naruto clung to me a bit as a result of the red hair, he somewhat treats me like an older brother now. It worked out mostly because I was one of the few people that didn't treat him like absolute shit.

"Ichigo vs Ichigo!" Naruto screamed as he lightly threw a wild strawberry at me. I caught it and ate it in a show of appreciation, then got back to minding my own business reading a book to refresh my knowledge of basic biology at the public library. I can be a bit annoyed by his clinginess, but I was also a big fan of Naruto before, so I did find myself enjoying his company more often than not. Maybe also because he was the only company I got.

"Ichigo wins! Hehehe! Happy 4th birthday, big bro!" Everyone avoids me thanks to my lack of emotional response and due to me looking like the infamous snake traitor. Naruto is the Jinchūriki, so as outcasts, we kinda clicked.

No, we had to click, social contact was a large part of human psychology, it was necessary for both of our mental health. However, he started calling me Ichigo as I didn't have a name. While I didn't want to be called strawberry (there is no need for a third protagonist in this world), I had no choice as the name stuck and ironically made people not hate me as much. So, I just accepted it and moved on.

Better that than the red-hot habanero, and one of my favorite desserts was a strawberry cheesecake... which doesn't exist in this world. Fuck, I really wanted to be in a casual slice of life modern world. Oh, my PlayStation, how I miss thee.

Now, on my fourth birthday, I decided it was finally time to start messing around with my chakra? Why now? Why not sooner? Mostly because I have been focusing on physical training as I had a very feeble body compared to the other kids. So, after three years, I managed to get rid of that flaw. As I have mentioned before, I also have been reading books, because I can apparently obtain skills and skill levels that way as long as I meet the basic requirement to do so. I also have a Status Screen, an Inventory, and a shitty form of Observe.

My Observe is not a skill or ability listed on my Status, it was a system function. So, no leveling it up for more info. This is was all I got when using it on Naruto:

[Naruto Uzumaki

A child sacrifice. Burdened by projected blame. Even so, still smiles.

His thoughts on you: My first friend, and my big bro.]

Yeah, I get summaries in haikus. Weird as all hell, but kind of cool. However, when I use Observe on any of my skills, or items in my inventory, it becomes exactly like what you normally would expect.

[Kitchen Knife:

A knife made by a semi-skilled blacksmith and stolen by Ichigo from the orphanage. The edge had been cared for, so the blade is still sharp.]

Also here is my knock off gamer's mind and body abilities being Observed:

[Focused Mind:

Absolute immunity to outside hypnotic control, psychological instability, and mental damage or warping. It also increases your ability to focus on a task. This does not make you immune to Genjutsu, you just can't be mentally hurt by them. It also does not negate intense emotions, just prevents any instability from them if any were to be born (like insanity).]

[Limitless Body:

You will not stagnate as long as to put in the effort to improve or maximize yourself. Your body is without limits.]

My Inventory has a hundred slots for storage, and I can store, pull out, or swap things with just a thought as long as I can carry the object. No, they are not stacking slots, but some things are considered one item instead of multiple items together. However, I have an infinite storage limit for items obtained from the dungeon. While I have yet to go into one to test this out, this system is quite forthcoming about itself, hence my knowledge about its functions.

Lastly, I got to name my eyes "Kakugan" since it is a new dojutsu and all. As a result of the new name, there were some aesthetic changes to my eyes when in use, at least according to my system. Now, when unlocked and active, it comes with a deep black sclera and red bloodshot veins... If you know, you know. Though that made it even more similar to the Byakugan and Sharingan as result. I wonder if my eyes will inspire someone to try and fuse the two.

So, during the night of my birthday, I stay awake in my bed, bunking with Naruto in the orphanage. You know, putting the two freaks together. As the Uzumaki starts to snore, I sit cross-legged, focusing on a leaf in my palm. After about thirty minutes of meditational focus, I can feel a soft energy flow from my center into the leaf causing it to twitch. A sensation that was so foreign yet extremely pleasurable, that it caused a massive rush of dopamine to flood my brain, exciting me to the point that I overloaded the leaf with chakra causing it to rip apart and blow up. My eyes widen, and for the first time in four years, I felt a smile grace my face. A wide psychotic smile easily conveys my near orgasmic experience.

Ah yes, social consequences.

As I struggled to, but succeeded in, muffling a burst of psychopathic laughter. As I felt an oddly calming effect pull my brain together. Messing with chakra was so pleasurable, that I apparently would have gone insane thanks to it. I give myself a moment to calm down as the smile quickly fades. In the window near my bed, I see a reflection of my face, noticing that my raw excitement caused me to flood my eyes with chakra and unlock my Kakugan. I test my x-ray vision and look up through the bed above my head and look straight at Naruto.

I could see his chakra flow and even see his tenketsu points. I can see the weight of his chakra, which was several times my own. Yet it was extremely turbulent, constantly fighting against the Nine-Tails chakra. Which explains his difficultly with chakra control. The Nine-Tails' hate chakra was holding him back more than Kakashi's struggle with the Sharingan. Otherwise, Naruto would be able to tussle with the likes of Hashiramain in chakra capacity. Ironic considering that they are both spiritual reincarnate of the same person.

I then look into the seal and stare directly at the Nine-Tails himself, I don't enter Naruto's mindscape, but the Kakugan's ability to see energy was better than even the Byakugan as it can see a person's life force, not just chakra or the chakra network. It's so good at it, that I can use it to tell if someone is lying or not, even read someone's thoughts, or predict their next action. So, I look at the manifestation of the sealed Nine-Tails itself within Naruto.

Maybe, out of sheer battle experience, or maybe with its extreme intellect. The Nine-Tails noticed me looking directly at him, it opened its' eyes and grinned at me. Sending out waves of hatred. My mind once again nearly shattered, that was the second time today that I almost became fucked up. I look away and calm myself once more with deep breaths.

I shouldn't have done that, the Nine-Tails was the strongest and the smartest tailed beast out of the nine. To the point, it even understood how nuclear fusion worked in the future.

The power gap between Kurama and the others was never this wide in the beginning, but the Nine-Tails' thousands of years of hatred actually made it grow stronger and bigger with more chakra. To the point that only half of it was needed to count for the Ten-Tails' completion. While all the Tailed-Beasts could get stronger, Kurama was the only one who grew strong enough to where the Naruto data-books say he alone could turn the world into ashes.

Not to mention the fact that it was sealed inside of two true Uzumaki's before Naruto, which was a clan known for their ability to make seals their bitch, amongst other things. Kurama had all the time in the world to watch and learn about space, time, and physics from them. Why did the Uzumaki's not design the seal to prevent the Nine-Tails' spying on them. They thought he was a mindless beast; boy were they wrong.

"I'm a chakra addict in a world where nations use Kaiju's like nuclear bombs, and they are on the cusp of an alien invasion... Fuck, if I want to live in peace, I need to make as many people as powerful as possible, make sure Naruto and Sasuke aren't nerfed, and make myself strong enough to fight godlike beings. Guess I'm going to have to blitz through as much as possible, though with how happy I felt merely practicing chakra control, I don't think I would have the patience to go slow anymore." I let out a sigh, then begin once again practicing my Rest skill, the strongest skill I have, and the one I worked on the most along with training my body.

[Rest Lv: 96

Though not needed, with efficient and proper sleep, you can greatly boost your recovery.

-Heals minor wound and remove all toxins and fatigue with 2 hours of sleep.

-Can realign bones, remove the effects of powerful Genjutsu, and erase scars with 4 hours of sleep.

-Regrow limbs with 6 hours of sleep.

-Can regrow organs with 8 hours of sleep.]

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A/N: A full status will be available in auxiliary chapters.