Chapter 11 - No Return

Lijun stared at Yiming and shook his head, "Idiot."

I put Yiming's head on my lap and briefly checked his head for any other injuries. Aside from a little gash from where Lijun's shoe hit his head, he had another bump from, perhaps, a previous time.

"He'll be fine. He heals quickly." Lijun said. "Toss him on the ground."

I squinted my eyes at Lijun, "Do you treat all your attendants like this?"

"I don't need to," he responded. "He is the only pain-in-the-ass that deserves it. I cannot believe I chose him to be my righthand man." Lijun walked back to the tea table and sat down.

Well, I could see how Yiming could be a pain in the backside, so Lijun had a point.

Then I remembered something I wanted to ask earlier, "So, you said that I couldn't go home. What do you mean by that?"

Lijun sipped at his tea, that probably went cold by now. "I mean exactly what I said."

"I know I can't go home NOW because I need answers and I need to find a way to deal with... whatever is going on with me, but I would like to go back to... my world when everything is figured out, if possible." I fiddled with a lock of Yiming's hair.

Lijun's face was unreadable as ever, but he regarded me for a good minute. Then he placed his cup back on the table. "It is not possible."

My heart stopped. "What do you mean?"

Lijun sighed and turned to face me. "I mean it is not possible. As soon as you exited Shenmi and set foot in Shenhua, everyone forgot about your existence in your world."

It was what I thought would happen. I actually sort of hoped it would happen. But why did it hurt so much?

Lijun continued, "Everything about you had been erased. Everything you were associated with had been changed. It is as if you never existed."

"So, then Kai..." I started to say, but then cut my sentence off. Lijun nodded, "Yes, Kai has forgotten about you."

It was as if time around me had stopped and I could not register anything around me.

I knew this was going to be the most possible outcome. I knew it, but...

Maybe I hoped with all my heart that it wouldn't have turned out this way. Maybe I hoped that I could go back to Kai and we could be happy together again.

"You really love him," Lijun said, stopping my spiraling thoughts. I didn't look up at him and wiped my endless tears, "Yes. Kai is my whole life. I didn't quite realize how important he was to me until too recently."

I could hear Lijun pour another cup of tea. "I... know how you feel. I, too, have been separated someone dear to me." I heard him walk towards me and then a teacup appeared in front of me. "You are lucky enough to know that he still exists and that he is alive and well. And he will live a joy filled life, later growing hair white as snow and smiling until his last moment."

I took the cup from him. "How do you know? Can you tell the future?"

"No, unfortunately I cannot. But that is all I can think of to say in order to comfort you," Lijun replied. "I... am not very skilled with emotional situations."

A long moment past as I continued to sob and wipe tears. Lijun sat there on the floor in front of me the whole time. Eventually he handed me another fancy handkerchief and gently patted my head. "I am truly sorry."

"Waaaahhh!" Yiming sobbed on my lap. I jumped at the sudden noise and almost spilled tea on his face.

Lijun groaned, "Yiming! How much of that have you been eavesdropping to?"

Yiming sat up and looked at me, "You poor, poor girl!" Then he suddenly hugged me tightly, so tight that I struggled to breathe.

Lijun grabbed him, "Get off, you idiot." But Yiming clung to me and patted my back, "I'm so sorry you had to leave your lover. No worries! You can make a new life here and find someone new!"

I coughed, "Uh, I can't breathe."

"Just not this nutcase," Yiming pointed at Lijun. "He'll break your heart."

I tried to pry him off, "I'm okay, Mr. Yiming. I'll be fine. Just please get off me, you're strangling me."

Yiming pulled away, but his hands still grasped my arms, "Just call be big brother Yiming. Big Brother will look after you and make sure you'll fit in great at the palace."

Yiming turned to Lijun. "You better find her a spot in the palace."

"Are you ordering me around now, lackey?" Lijun said to Yiming with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey! Who are you calling lackey?! I am a righthand man!" Yiming fumed.

Lijun's expression softened, "Lead her to the attendants' quarters. There should be an open room."

"You're making her an attendant? I thought you'd make her a court maid or something." Yiming asked.

"What's the difference?" I asked. Doesn't court maids count as attendants too, because they attend to the emperor?

Yiming pointed a finger in the air as he explained, "An attendant is ranked higher than a court maid. They are almost like the personal guards of the emperor, except they also do secretarial jobs and, well, other secret jobs that he might assign to them. To make the public less suspicious and unaware of their true nature, they are simply called 'attendants'." Yiming rubbed his chin and scanned me with his eyes, "Generally they have combat experience and good physique. You on the other hand... Have you ever even wielded a sword?"

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"What about a dagger?"

"No, I haven't."

His expression grew more filled with terror with each 'no'. He continued in a shaky, but hopeful voice, "A knife?"

"Nope."

"Have you ever even punched someone?" Yiming asked.

"I punched a bully in the nose once, in high school..." I answered.

Yiming groaned and covered his face with his hands. Then he pointed at me as he spoke to Lijun, "How do you plan on making THIS an attendant?"

Lijun shrugged, "I can teach her to fight."

Yiming looked like Lijun told him that he shot a baby panda, "YOU?! She'd be dead by tomorrow!" Yiming crossed his arms and tapped his chin. "Plus, you are busy enough as it is."

Yiming thought for a while then reached his final conclusion, "Fine. That leaves us with one option." He pointed his thumb to his chest, "I will be your combat teacher."

A silence followed and I thought I heard crickets.

Yiming frowned at Lijun, "Why aren't you denying me?"

Lijun got up and dusted his pants off, "It's because I do not oppose to this idea."

"You WHAT?" Yiming jumped up in surprise. "You actually agree with me for once?!"

Lijun nodded, "Yes. I, myself, might be too hard on her -" Yiming rolled his eyes. "And I am quite busy with the planning of the protection of the Sanctuary at the moment. And there is no one else that I can trust but you. Plus," Lijun looked reluctant to say it but ended up saying it anyway, "You have remarkable combat skills."

Yiming looked taken aback by the unexpected compliment. He cleared his throat and helped me up, "Alright then. I'll be her combat teacher. I'll ask Attendant Weixian to teach her all the book-related stuff."

Yiming shooed me towards the door, "I'll also get her some clothes." Lijun nodded in agreement.

Yiming opened the door and then looked back at Lijun with the most serious expression that I have seen on him since he stumbled into the room. "Will you be alright enchanting everyone?"

Enchanting? What did he mean by that?

Lijun smiled, "Of course. It is an easy task, do not worry. I am the Emperor after all."

Yiming looked skeptical but ultimately accepted his word.

He closed the doors behind us and led the way with a radiant smile, "Let's begin your new life!"