After-Action Report (Part One)

After we'd come back from Limbo, it was weird to settle into a period where nothing happened. And that nothing dragged on for a week.

While nothing actiony happened, that wasn't to say that nothing notable happened at all.

After Laura had spent the night with me that first time, it happened a few more times afterwards. She never asked in advance, never messaged me to let me know she was coming. She just showed up in the dead of night. Because I didn't sleep, she would curl up in my bed, while I puttered around the room, reading, doing homework, playing games, or watching movies and TV.

Not much of a talker, that one. Not that it mattered. Not being able to fucking sleep, ever, the long hours that I had to spend awake at night were kind of lonely. Having company was nice. Sometimes I would lay with Laura while I was doing these things, but I had a tendency to wake her up when she dozed off. She slept a lot lighter than Megan did.

Speaking of whom... we started talking again during this time frame. It was easy for her to try and reconcile what had happened in Limbo with me, because if any of the students at school could relate with being thrown into something they were in over their head on, it was me.

Also, in hindsight, a lot of my struggling during that episode was done trying to fight for her in some way, shape, or form. If it hadn't been clear that I still cared, despite her breaking up with me, it was afterwards. That had to have been confusing for her, because it definitely was for me.

Her girlfriends still hated me, and let it be known that they did, but I didn't give a shit, because I didn't have to interact with them. However, in this instance, they kind of had a point. Megan was chatting with me, smiling at me, and even flirting a bit again. Yet, I had Laura more or less spending nights with me in my room, and as pedestrian as it was, it still wasn't nothing.

While this was inevitably going to blow up in my face somehow, I had no idea how to navigate those waters. So why go there? I was going to kick that can down the road until I couldn't anymore. There were other things to focus my attention on.

After taking hit after hit after hit of bad things coming our way, having a bit of time to try and get all of our ducks in a row was very welcome.

About two weeks of actual training, actual gelling as a team, actual opportunity for me to see who worked well with who, and a chance to take real notes that could help.

Mister Summers had spoken to me after Limbo and given me some advice. As the guy who walked into leading the team when he was my age, it was in my best interests to at least hear him out. And it wasn't like what he told me was bad information. First of all, he said it would behoove me to take notes. Done. I even did them handwritten, because I was not about to make it easy for someone to steal my observations by hacking me.

Things were coming along as well as could be expected. Everyone was getting used to the way things were, and I'd kept Noriko and Julian from killing each other. Although... Julian really hadn't been as big of a problem as I'd expected him to be at first. After the incident with Nori in the Danger Room, he was almost subdued, more thoughtful, at least when she was around.

That was not the aspect of the team that was giving me any trouble at the moment.

One morning after history, while everyone was filing out to head to their next class, Laurie Collins held me up to have a bit of a talk. She waited for Miss Moonstar to leave first, and she had been the advisor for the New Mutants, so whatever it was had to be something she didn't want someone she held in regard to hear.

I didn't speak to Laurie very much, especially by herself. It wasn't because I disliked her, we just didn't really click. If it weren't for the fact that she was good friends with some of my other friends, or that she was on the team, I couldn't imagine hanging around her. And she never seemed comfortable around me at all, which was fair, given who I was as a person.

Even when she'd come up to me to talk about something, she seemed so mousy, "Bellamy, I'm sorry to bring this up now, but... I just think that maybe I'm not cut out for this."

I leaned my back against the nearest wall to relax, one leg crossed over the other, "I can't really blame you. I'd kind of question everyone's sanity if what happened in Limbo didn't have them at least thinking about dropping out of the team," If she thought I was going to be upset, she had been mistaken.

"It's not that," Laurie said, eyes cast to the floor shamefully, "I felt kind of useless there. While everyone was fighting for their lives, there wasn't much I could do. My powers have just as good a chance of helping as hurting…"

She wasn't the only one who didn't contribute much in the grand scheme of things. David hadn't been able to do much, and from what Eddie had told me, all he'd been able to do was fly around and get beaten up. I didn't hold any of that against them. It didn't mean either of them were useless. Sometimes life gave you a bad matchup.

"Well, Laurie, I don't think you or your powers are useless," I told her, "I think they're kind of broken, actually. Good broken - as in, I'm really glad you don't just use them to get whatever you want, because you could."

I'd read everyone's file time and time again while working out possible lineups. Laurie's power seemed mundane, until you actually thought about it. Wallflower generated strong airborne scent-based pheromones. They affected the chemical balance in other people, which messed with their moods and influenced their minds.

Apparently, she used to be unable to control it at all, and she'd cause everyone around to match her moods. If she was happy, everyone else was too. If she was sad, scared, or pissed off at something, so was anyone close enough to catch some pheromones from her. She was getting more control now though, which was good, and also kind of freaky.

For instance, if Laurie used her powers on me, there wouldn't be anything I could do about it. I'd have to deal with her before I got a whiff of her pheromones, or I'd be screwed. Most all of us would be. Santo wouldn't. Cessily wouldn't. Maybe the Cuckoos wouldn't, if they took on their diamond forms. They were the only ones on the team I could think of that could resist Wallflower's pheromones.

Laurie's expression darkened at the thought of ever exploiting her powers in such a manner, "I don't ever want to be that kind of person."

It was good that she felt so strongly about not being evil, but did it really warrant such a strong reaction? I hadn't ever seen her so resolute about anything, "I don't think you need to worry about that so much. I was just saying," I tiptoed past the topic and back to what was really important, "Anyway, Im not going to beg you to stay if you're dead set on dropping out, but do you really want to quit?"

Despite bringing the subject up with me, when I pressed her on it, she seemed torn, "I... no," She eventually decided, "No, I don't."

Good, because I didn't want to have to replace her or be down a man/woman.

I wasn't much for the inspirational talk, but I gave it a shot, "Laurie, you must have proven enough already to get invited to the team in the first place," Mister Summers and Miss Frost wouldn't have wasted a pick on someone they didn't think could hack it. If Laurie was there, it was because they thought she had what it took, "I wouldn't worry so much about earning your keep just yet. If last week was any sign, you'll get more chances than you want."

Yesterday was just supposed to be practice, and we wound up fighting real demons and sorcerers. I would bet my parents' house that things like that would happen many, many more times.

Laurie laughed self-consciously, "I guess you're right. Sorry," She apologized, "Maybe I should have thought about this more before bringing it to you. It's just been bothering me ever since, you know?"

I scoffed and pushed myself off of the wall, walking over to her, "I don't mind. I'm supposed to be the one you bring this stuff to. You don't have to hide it from me like you'll get in trouble. What am I now, student faculty? The fucking R.A.?"

"The dorms don't even have R.A.s," Laurie pointed out in an effort to kill my comparison.

I threw my hands up as I exclaimed, "That's what I'm saying! That's why it's kind of insulting," I wasn't staff. I was still a dumbass student who got in trouble like the rest of them. It hadn't even been that long ago since the last time I was in trouble, "Just remember, I'm one of you guys too."

Laurie smiled. Finally, I'd started to get her to loosen up around me. Good. I wanted my teammates to trust me and like me, "I don't know. You might make a good guidance counselor."

I smirked down at her, "You want some guidance? Okay. Ignore everything I do for myself, because it's all bad decisions. I only tend to save the good ones for taking care of people that I like," She giggled. I had only been half joking. And speaking of guidance, "Have you had a checkup with the school shrink yet?"

Suddenly, her temperament did a 180, right back to being nervous and uneasy, "I... uh... n-n-no," She stammered out meekly.

I raised an eyebrow at her reaction. I understood not liking psychiatrists, but that seemed a little much, "Well, if you're having trouble stomaching some of the stuff we had to deal with in Limbo, make sure you go bend Dr. Garrison's ear for a bit. That dude gets paid way too much to not make him work for that shit."

I tried to joke again. This time, it didn't land. Laurie didn't even nod to signify she'd heard me. She just slunk out of the room.

Weird. She'd seemed less skittish about telling me about quitting the team than an offhanded remark about Dr. Garrison.