Chapter 1

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Taehyung is a guy of many talents. He is an exceptional singer and an okay dancer. He is an expert in martial arts and he holds his own with crafts. He has basic knowledge about cars and he can fix a leaky pipe if need be. And of course, he is an unbelievably amazing cook.

A/N: sorry Jin- ahahah

But no matter how much he tries, Tae doesn't know how to woo a lady.

Taehyung loves women. He loves everything about them. He lives for women. But women apparently don't like him.

He doesn't know what it is that he does wrong. He praises their beauty and grace with every breath, he does everything for them and never asks for anything in return (like any guy should), and he throws himself at their feet. But no matter how much he tries, no woman will look at him.

And it's not like they rather be friends—no, he's always turn down flatly. Often harshly. And that is why, at twenty-two, Taehyung has only ever slept with two women.

His virginity was lost at sixteen with an older woman (much, much older) and his second time was with a girl questioning her sexuality (yes, she is now married to a beautiful woman) when he was eighteen.

But no matter how daunting the tasks seems, Taehyung will always continue to cater to women's needs. And it's not only because he wants to get laid (though yes, he wouldn't say no to sex) but because Tae is a romantic at heart and he hopes with all of his heart to meet that beautiful lady that holds the second half of his soul. He wishes for marriage and children, for date nights and anniversaries, for waking up next to someone, wrapped in their warmth.

Taehyung wishes for a soulmate, and he will never find her if he is disheartened over the amount of women that have turned him down with scorn.

But he knows, after six years of trying and failing, that his way of doing things is not working. And that is why Tae is seriously considering following his friend, Jimin's advice.

The guy is a player, often seen with a different woman or men every week. He is one of Taehyung's closest friends and Taehyung often finds himself envying the shorter-guy's ease with women.

Jimin's advice? Do a 180. If women don't like the romantic, sweetheart kind of guy, then turn into the sexy player they want to just swallow up.

It works for Jimin, so...

Taehyung bites his lip and stares at the phone number saved in his contacts. He finally managed to get Tzuyu's number three days ago, after months of flirting (begging). He's been a little in love with her since he saw her in his restaurant four months ago with a couple of her friends. She knows Jimin somehow so Tae has been lucky enough to meet her a couple of times since then.

He wonders if he should text her right now. Perhaps ask her how her day has been. Or invite her out to eat. Maybe just say hello?

He sighs and opens up Jimin's text thread.

Send her a dick pic.

He wonders if Jimin knows Tzuyu is the woman Taehyung is trying to get with. Not that a dick pic works with any woman—seriously, is this how Jimin gets girls?—but Taehyung is sure this won't work with Tzuyu at all. The girl is...a bit odd—in a completely adorable way, of course.

"This is stupid," Taehyung mutters and puts away his phone. He can't think right now. He needs to relax. He just got off an eight-hour shift at the Baratie after a week of twelve-hour shifts, so he's bone-tired. A good, warm bath with do wonders for him.

He gets to his feet and drags his tired body to the shower. He fills the tub with warm water and then undresses, putting his dirty clothes in the hamper before he grabs his bath oils and sinks inside the tub.

"Ah, that's the spot," Tae groans happily, feeling the warm water wash out all of his tension. The calming aroma of lavender and vanilla soon makes him just a little bit drowsy and he sinks low enough so only his eyes can be seen.

He loves baths.

His phone lights up on the counter and Taehyung glances at it. He debates whether to grab it or not, but the prospect of maybe one of the girls he's given his number to answering gets him to stand up and grab it. Sinking down in the warm water again feels like coming home and Tae smiles.

He checks his phone and scowls when he sees he's got a text from Jimin.

Did u do it? If she doesn't txt back is 'coz ur dick is too small. Send me 1 so I can check.

Tae rolls his eyes. He's gotten used to Jimin flirting with him, but when they first started being friends, it always freaked him out. Not because Taehyung is homophobic or anything, but because he's never been the one on the other side of flirting. People don't flirt with him.