"don't wanna live anymore"

-screamed the poor me, from the terrace of my high school. hello there, i am amanda, Amanda winfree, a fucked up teenager with not much to say. But what, i can surely assure you, is that the recent days have been pretty bad. oh wait! Not just the recent ones, but everything has been BAD ever since my mom and dad got divorced last year. i decided to live along side with my mum, but that didn't turn out as i expected. my mom got into this living relationship with, what i call a "loser". loser is an unemployed bitch, that can do nothing apart from bringing in pain and sorrow. he and my mom( who does odd jobs for survival) drink all day and fight at night, while i watch them from the corner of my eye. their behavior forces me to hate my house and stay away from it, for as long as possible. to be honest, i like to stay in the school premises after the school hours, because i have no home, but instead, i just have an one room apartment. i remember the days when i was mediocre at studies and had friends. but now everything has just..... changed. my grades have gone down, i have lost both my friends and my interest at studies. and more importantly my reputation. my boyfriend alex woodland, one of the bad guys, is the literal epitome of evil. i blame him for many things, like for abusing me, embarrassing me , and so on. and you will ask why i am still in a relationship with him?, 'cause i have lost the ability to fight back and oppose things. and now i just remember the good old days, when everyone was fine with me and i still had hope, hope for better things to happen, hope to become a singer - songwriter. and all i do now is to wait for the absolute end.