C1. Loosing things

Katy tagged along with us as we ventured to Morgan's hospital room. The room was situated in a secluded corner, with minimal foot traffic and a quiet atmosphere.

Upon entering, we noticed several stacked books on the desks. In one corner, there were two dusty shelves housing old medical files and books, while the other corner displayed some trophies with a hint of gleam from their gold plates, albeit dusty.

Adjacent to the windows, Morgan's desk was adorned with a thin curtain that allowed filtered sunlight to illuminate the space.

Morgan settled into his comfortable, ergonomically designed chair positioned in front of his primary desk. Positioned just in front of the keyboard is a sleek, modern-looking flat screen monitor.

It's astounding to see how rapidly technology has evolved over the years. In the past, monitors used to be bulky, taking up a significant portion of workspace, but now they are incredibly slim. Morgan continues to work, diligently typing and navigating with the mouse.

"I uhh, before I tell you this, you should sit down" Morgan feeling tensed a bit said. 

I glanced around and noticed an additional chair next to me. Katy entered the room just as I sat down which emitted a grinding noise as it slid along the dusty rail, indicating that it hadn't been lubricated in a while. 

"What is it your going to tell me?" 

"Here…" Morgan clicked on his mouse.

As I moved my chair, equipped with four wheels similar to Morgan's closer to his computer, my eyes were captivated by the clear and vibrant display on the screen. Immediately, a bold headline in an article caught my attention.

"A Missing report?... don't tell me they're-" Katy said as she quickly looks over at the screen as well. 

"No, Missing reports… declared dead" I said the tittle of the article.

Archive update+

---

The afternoon gradually comes to an end, I make my way down the hallway of the hospital, accompanied by my IV pole connected to my right hand. With each step, my hospital attire gently sways, reflecting the movement of my legs.

I navigated through a diverse crowd: patients strolling alongside their loved ones, some receiving assistance, while others walk alone. Fatigue gradually sets in, signaling the need for rest.

A compassionate nurse offers assistance, but I politely decline, assuring him that I can manage on my own. Occasionally, I glance down, feeling weariness deepen with every step I take.

This feeling, Its all fade, why? Why is it I can't remember?

I tried to recall it all, My attempt to remember my childhood memories is a hazy one. I can vaguely recall faceless children walking around me, engaging in play as I joined them, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun in the rice fields while the breeze enveloped us.

As much as I go onto that particular memory it's still all but nothing more than fleeting images.

Why, why can't I remember. Them. Them. THEM!

Their faces, their hair, their eyes, nose and lips, etched in my memory from childhood. The precious moments we shared together remain vivid in my mind., yet frustratingly out of reach. Is this the disorienting sensation of amnesia? It's an experience I despise. 

I stopped walking for a moment. 

Tears welled up in my eyes, my face began to recveal the emotions I had been suppressing.

"S-sarah… Michael… where are you?" I cried. 

---

"wa-wait, missing? For seven years? 

"it says, a couple of bodies weren't found after the search from the fallen rubble. Their names were listed over."

"Hold on what's the source of this? Maybe it's just from one article."

"There are Fifteen tabs opened right now here, each are different articles from different sources but all of them have the same lists… I'm sorry Nathan." 

"Nathan they were also victims of the incident, this means you were with them before you died. Do you remember anything?" 

"I-I… don't"

"any sliver of memory at all, maybe where you all are at that moment? Or any image that can come up on your head." 

"I don't."

"They're bodies haven't yet found until this day so in technicality their still considered as missing right?"

"That could be the case, but it has been thirteen years already"

"still there's a chance. Right Nathan? We could try to search for them, there's at least a chance."

…

"I-I can't remember anything, not even their faces, just… their names. I- excuse me…" I proceeded to go outside the room.

---

What now?

Why do I have my life back yet im still loosing it all

After a brief span of time, I arrived at the room where I'm staying at. I settled down on the bed, wrapping myself in the white blanket. The cool temperature from the air conditioner was slightly bothersome, but not excessively so.

As time passed and the hours went by, night descended upon me.

Throughout the day, my emotions remained stagnant, devoid of any strong feelings. Summoning my remaining energy, I lifted myself up and began navigating through the PCS profiles, searching for information about my brother and sister. 

Where is it… where is it… where is it!

I continued scrolling endlessly until my fingers ached. The screen's brightness illuminated my sight while the ambient lighting in the room was dimmed, as some people had turned off their lights.

Throughout the long night, my actions consisted solely of shifting positions on the bed and scrolling repeatedly. However, no content materialized I had delved into the depths of squares and rectangles, yet nothing popped up.

Eventually, I drifted on my soft pillow.

As I wake up, another day has gone by. I can sense the strain in my eyes from not getting enough sleep at the appropriate time.

The warm sun rays filter through the curtains and gently touch the sheets of my blanket, creating a cozy atmosphere.

Breakfast arrives in the usual manner, served by Katy, but the taste lacks freshness. I feel hesitant to engage in conversation with her, so I simply express my gratitude for bringing the meal. 

"I'm not hungry," I said.

"it's a requirement," Katy said as she puts down my plate on the hospital table.

"They're.. missing Nathan, why are you so sad about it?" 

"they're dead Katy…"

"they just declared it for a propper confirma-"

"Thirteen years has passed!" I yelled.

"Hey!" Armin shouted from the otherside.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted.

"I'm just trying to help you out…" Katy said with a low tone of voice.

"I don't need it." I said.

She leaves my space with a concerned face as I continue to munch through my meal.

As I lie in bed, a few more hours go by, and the golden hour welcomes itself. I gaze at the ceiling, taking a moment to appreciate the tranquility.

Looking out the window, I can hear the children playing down the road, evoking a sense of nostalgia and triggering memories from my own childhood again. Despite the flashbacks, I struggle to recall their faces still.

Embracing the comfort of my bed, I curl up once again, allowing my eyes to gradually close as I attempt to take another nap.