The wolf and his samurai

{7 days after Rika's date}

With Rika's date out of the way, it was Saeko's turn. I could tell she was excited for it, so when we woke up, and she knew it was her turn, we got out of our bath, got our clothes on, and started our date the first thing in the morning. Saeko was in her new casual, a purple battle skirt and stockings, with her hair tied into a pony tail.

That's how I found myself running in wolf form, Saeko riding on my back, towards Mt. Fuji. Saeko wasn't actually the most excited for this. That would be me. I'd not only never gone to Mt. Fuji before, but I had an idea about how to help Saeko. It was thanks to my finally maxing Wolf King's Wisdom. Now that might sound weird. Why would maxing an ability of mine help me with my love life?

The answer was in my memories. I'd gotten all of the memories of MY life as Muzaka. That was something made clear when I got them. When I made my wish, I was reborn as Muzaka, and went through the events I said I did. It was a little strange, having two sets of memories meshing together, but it was fine. I sorted them out, and decided I was who I was. Though I could've done with roaming into the woods, instead of being dropped into them.

Maccillian and Maccillian Silver Zaka were one in the same. Anything else didn't mater. Anyway, back to the current situation. I had an idea on how to finally get through to Saeko that she deserved love. I just had to get to Mt. Fuji, and go through with the date.

After an hour of running at full speed, we made it. We started to climb the mountain, and after getting halfway up, we stopped. After we found a nice ledge to sit on, Saeko and I sat together, and looked out towards the horizon. Saeko was leaning into my side, and I had my arm around her shoulder as she had hers around my waist.

"It's beautiful, isn't it my lord?" She was right, it really was.

"Yeah... I need to make sure I show you girls as many sights like this as possible." Saeko lowly hummed, and kept looking out.

"That just makes me wish to see the multiverse even more my lord."

"And you will. You're coming with me every step of the way."

"... That's my only wish. Being by your side for eternity sounds like bliss." I hummed at that. It was time to shoot myself in the foot.

"Hey Saeko."

"Yes my lord?"

"How do you feel about motherhood?" Saeko started choking. I helped her through it, but afterwards, she just stared at me like a deer in headlights. "I don't mean right now. I'm not ready for that either. I just want to know your opinion on it." Saeko kept looking at me, and after a healthy blush made its way onto her cheeks, she looked away, and started to grow a little serious.

"If my lord wants it, then I'd gladly sire you children. But personally... I'm unsure. Motherhood... Motherhood was something I never thought about. I was raised into believing it was another one of my duties as a woman, but for me... I don't truly believe I deserve to be a mother." Here it is.

"Really? Tell me why." Saeko looked a little sad when I asked, but I just held her tighter. She took that as a good sign, and took a breath in.

"I... For years, I didn't feel as if I deserved to be happy. That I didn't deserve to live. I believed I was a monster. It was one of the reasons I wished to prove myself. To become what I believed I was. But... Those thoughts started to change." She paused there, and looked at me. "They changed when I begun to spend time with you. With Shizuka. With Saya. With the rest of our pack... I became a monster... And I felt loved. It... It was a difficult thing to process. Becoming a Werewolf gave me a purpose. A reason for me to raise my blade. A goal to die in battle by your side... And it gave me something I wasn't sure I deserved."

She stopped talking there, and nuzzled into my side. I held her there, and let my head rest on the side of hers. "How about now? Do you still think you don't deserve to be loved?" Saeko looked at me from the corner of her eye, then nodded.

"I don't think I deserve it. I've seen what love truly is. You and Shizuka are in love. TRUE love. And I still don't believe I deserve something like THAT. Something so... Pure." I let her talk, and just let her take in my warmth as she did. "I have a reason to live. You. I have a pack. And I believed that was all I'd need. I wouldn't have minded becoming a bed warmer if you asked of me. But that? That feeling of being loved? A part of me wants it. Craves it. But I don't believe I truly deserve it." I hummed.

"Saeko. I know I haven't, but I'll ask you anyway. Have I ever told you about Garda?" She turned to me, confusion clear in her eyes, and shook her head.

"No, you have not my lord." I nodded, and looked out to the horizon.

"Garda... She was a Werewolf from the days before I became king. She was a Werewolf and woman that loved me for decades. Genuine love... And I trampled on her love and pushed her away." I saw Saeko's eyes widen at that, but I kept going. "Garda... Garda would've done anything for me. She followed me around like I was the only person that truly mattered to her. And in a way, I did. I had her heart, and that was all that mattered to her... And I got her killed for it." Saeko stiffened, and her breath hitched. But she didn't interrupt. She was finding out that I UNDERSTOOD.

"I get that feeling. 'I don't deserve this.' 'I don't deserve them.' 'I don't deserve HER.' Those were thoughts I had and still have about Garda, Shizuka and the rest of you. Garda stayed by my side as I grieved. She allowed me to fuck her like she was some common whore instead of a Werewolf warrior. Even if I meant nothing by it. She let me use her however I wanted when I was at the lowest point in my life... And she still loved me. When I finally got my act together, she was the first person to train with me. She was with me every step of the way... And I still pushed her away.

'I need to end the war.' 'I need to stop this.' 'I don't have time for that.' For decades, she put up with me. And I still didn't make space for her in my heart... Even after I became king. When she had sworn her heart and soul to me... I didn't find the time to care. And then... Then came the day she died. The day I killed her." I had to stop here. It hurt. There was genuine loss and pain in my voice and heart. There were downsides to knowing my past after all.

"I mentioned how I spent a week fighting for my life. Remember?" I felt Saeko nod, and went on. "Rai wasn't the first person to find me. Garda was. It was around 4 days since I started fighting, and I was getting tired... Garda found me, and fought by my side. She helped take the pressure off of me... And a day later, she took this hit for me... This hit that would've given them the chance to kill me if I took it... And she dove in front of it without a second thought... Her last words to me... She told me she loved me... And I lost it. I lost myself to my wrath for hours...

I had the chance to give Garda a better life... But I didn't. I focused on becoming king and stopping the war... And Garda died for it... And it was my fault. It was only after she died that I realized how much I not only meant to her, but how much she meant to me. That woman had sworn her LIFE and SOUL to me... And I only realized how much she meant to me AFTER she died... After that, I wasn't sure I deserved to love anyone EVER after that. But now, look at me. Centuries later finding my heart occupied by 4 women that I'd gladly die for... I love Shizuka. You're right about that... But she's not the only one I love mo lann."

I stopped looking at the horizon, and turned to Saeko. She was entranced by my story, and I had her undivided attention. I turned my body to face her and took a look at her, at the tears trailing down her face, and pressed my forehead to hers. "I love Shizuka. I love Rika. I love Saya. And I love you Saeko." The dam burst even more after that. Saeko was shedding tears like they were no ones business, and I placed my free hand on her cheek, and raised her head up to look at me.

"I still have a part of me that feels like I don't deserve the love Shizuka gives me. A part of me that says I don't deserve yours or Saya's or Rika's love. But I'm trying. I'm proving it wrong with every moment I spend with all of you. So Saeko. Mo lann, prove yours wrong as well. Prove to me, and to yourself, that you deserve love and to be loved." She looked at me, tears still streaming down her eyes, and smiled at me. Despite the tears running down her face, it was a beautiful smile.

"I-I will. I'll try my best my lord." I smiled at that, and kissed her. Saeko took the kiss, and melted into both it and me. Right now, nothing else mattered. It was just me and Saeko. Two damaged people trying to fix ourselves. And that was fine. If we couldn't make ourselves whole, we'd make the other whole together. We broke off the kiss, and turned back to the horizon. Saeko leaned into my side again, and we just took it in.

"My lord. I love you."

"I love you too Saeko. Mo lann."

{Saeko's general POV hours after the date}

I understood Shizuka now. A part of my mind didn't believe a date could be as how described.

But I was proven wrong.

My lord had given me more then I think he knows. The topic of motherhood had thrown me for a loop, but the conversation, confessions, and love that came after were all that truly mattered.

I had an inkling he had known I was never truly over my doubts about his love, but hearing he had the same doubts was something I never knew could affect me as much as it did.

Hearing my lord speak about the pain, seeing his eyes and hearing him voice it, for once made me feel horrible. Someone was in pain in front of me. And for once. I felt like I wanted it to stop. I wanted to take away the pain from the only man I've loved, and wish he didn't have to carry it.

But he didn't stop there. Hearing more about the tale of Garda, the first woman to love my lord, it brought out another emotion in me. Another thought formed that for once.

I didn't want to die.

I didn't want to burden him with my death. To burden him with the pain of losing someone again.

With the pain of failing someone again.

So I fed that thought. I refused to die. I would not allow the man I've chosen to love with all my soul to feel the pain of losing me. I would still seek battle. Still seek challenge.

But if it seemed like I would die, I would stop playing. I refused to let my vice be the reason my lord lost me.

I would temper myself. Learn to understand when it was time to fight, and when it was time to HUNT.

It would be a disservice to my lord, my sister mates, and to myself if I failed to uphold the pride of a Werewolf. All those thoughts birthed a new resolution inside of me. One I would feed and temper until it was the core of my being.

I was a Werewolf. A future wife to the king of Werewolves. His blade. And I would never fall.