Women just slow the speed at which I draw my sword

I hummed as I studied the pages of a book. The pages resembled something like a combination of the Kama Sutra and circuit diagrams, and I had been studying off and on for weeks. It was kind of difficult to practice this sort of thing on my own, but I didn't have any desire to practice with another, so I would have to make do.

I sat the book down on the table and thought about my time in the Imperial capital.

It had been several months, and I focused mostly on my own cultivation and magical research. I noticed that if I shifted my sleep schedule to sleep during the day, then I only needed about three hours of sleep if I could cultivate underneath the moon that evening.

That was quite nice, with both Merildwen and myself being more night owls, anyway. It gave me more hours a day to do whatever I wanted. I wasn't a workaholic, though, so I mainly continued working the same amount and using the extra time for leisure.

I was called to the Frolics about twice a week to play chess with the "young master." I finally had to admit that he was more talented than I was.

I had been bullying him with my experience, but he had an intuitive understanding of the game, and each time he came, he was a bit better than the last time, with seemingly no diminishing returns that I had noticed thus far. I had barely beaten him last time! 

It wasn't that surprising. With the internet, I could play unlimited games with an unlimited number of people, and that was something that the young master couldn't do, so he still had a lot of talent in the game that hadn't been wrung out while I had mostly reached my peak years ago.

It wasn't that I wasn't still improving, just a little, because I had always preferred traditional chess, but that wasn't an option here, so I found a new interest in playing it due to other options being unavailable, but it wasn't enough. 

Playing with people I could talk to was a new, nice bonus that increased my interest quite a bit. When I played this game on the internet, I almost never played with an English-speaking person, mainly Chinese, Japanese or Vietnamese people.

I had also finally gotten Xiao Li to be able to cook rice without destroying it by writing the recipe in alchemy terms, which I barely understood, so I didn't have to cook all the time anymore, so I had to admit everything was going well.

I didn't have any long-term goals aside from improving myself at present, and I didn't think that was bad. I was letting myself go with the flow, just following along with Xiao Li as I knew he was "safe."

He wanted to go to this particular sword sect, so I was following him. I had decided to try to enlist, as well. I didn't have some desire to master the sword, but they had a lot of resources and a huge library of cultivation methods and spells that I was quite interested in. 

Also, if I continued down my path and managed to recreate my existing spells in the form of talismans, then I would need someone to hide behind to sell them. I didn't think that they'd be completely earth-shattering, but a few of them I hoped would be useful enough that it would be suicidal for a wandering, independent cultivator to release them for wide sale.

From my perspective, one sect was as good as another, and I had begun to trust both the judgement and the luck of Xiao Li, so to the Silver Serenities we would go.

Xiao Li walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of rice for the meat I had already cooked. I cheated by cooking it in large batches and then immediately storing it in my hammerspace. If time passed there, it was so slow that calling it stasis wasn't misleading. 

I popped a good amount of meat into his rice bowl as he passed, and he narrowed his eyes at me. It had taken him a while to trust that the things I stored weren't in just one big storage area. As far as I could tell, they weren't. They were stored individually and isolated, but I just could not store an aggregate larger than the total volume limit.

To Xiao, this was important, considering I often stored things like severed heads, people's bones, and the like. Stuff he didn't want to come in contact with cooked meat he was about to eat, in other words. 

Personally, I didn't think it mattered either way because if time was as good as stopped, there would be no time for the meat to become contaminated.

As he sat down, he glanced at the cover of the book I had been reading. It was labelled "Dragon-Phoenix Synergy Art" in bold calligraphy on the front cover, and Xiao Li almost choked on a mouthful of rice before his face turned beet red, and he stammered, "W-why are you reading that?! Where did you even get it?!"

I narrowed my eyes at him, causing the book to vanish into my storage. It wasn't that I didn't understand why he was asking, but I shook my head, "I bought it last month. I had to spend one hundred spirit stones to get it, and it's a part of one of my self-defence strategies. I do not wish to discuss it."

When I said that studying this secret art was part of my "self-defence strategy", Xiao Li looked at me like I was an insane person, but I didn't desire to clear up his confusion. Finally, he realised I wasn't going to elaborate and said, "Oh, I got that diamond dust you wanted."

I grinned. "That's good." I had bought a bunch earlier in a small batch at the market but had already used a lot of it. Xiao Li had said he could find a bulk supplier in the city since he didn't have anything much to do, and I appreciated the help. 

Material components for my spells were priced differently here. For example, the small diamond that I had used to revive Xiao Li was worth way more than I thought. Something like one thousand taels of gold, as they were used in a number of ways in alchemy, weapon refining and formations.

However, diamond dust was actually much cheaper than in Borea because there were ways for the cultivation world to manufacture very small grit diamonds as a waste product when certain production methods were used. They also weren't used for much other than as a polishing or sanding agent for mortal blacksmiths, tool makers and goldsmiths. "How much did you get, and how much do I owe you?"

"Something like five catties, and I paid one spirit stone for it," he said, shrugging. I widened my eyes; that was like two and a half kilos, more or less. A huge amount! I had a great need for it, too. A continuing one, as well. I didn't think there was a time in the future when I wouldn't need a lot of it. 

I slid a spirit stone across the table and gave him a thumbs-up. He then glanced around and asked randomly, "Say, where's that cat of yours?"

I frowned and shrugged, "I haven't seen him for a week or so. He started tomming around the city." Still, I was curious and felt for the familiar bond. He was still alive; otherwise, I would be able to resummon him, and I could still unsummon and even dismiss him if I wanted.

I didn't really want to do any of those things, but this made me a bit curious, "I was meaning to explore the city some more. I can use my bond to get a direction. If I don't have anything else to do, I'll go drag him back." 

Although we had been here months, I almost never went out. I would visit the Frolics several times a week, but that was mostly to learn things of the non-lascivious variety, like music, or more recently, play chess with the young master.

Besides that, I spent the rest of the time, which was the vast, vast majority, cultivating, experimenting and learning magic on my own or training with Xiao Li. 

I had almost fully stepped into what I would call a level five Wizard, being able to cast every third-level spell that I knew, except those of the Evocation and Divination schools anyway. I was still working on those. Level three was when spells got really powerful, along with level six and level nine. The intermediate levels, like three to five, represented a more gradual increase in power, while level six jumped a lot. 

This was just my opinion from playing spellcasters sometimes, even if they weren't my favourite class. For me? I always played Human Male, and my class was usually either Fighter or Paladin. Some might call that boring, but I was the one who had the longsword in my hand in the end!

Xiao Li nodded, "I know it's not really a cat, but it is a little bit odd for him not to be here trying to get free meat bites from us." I grinned. I noticed in the past that Xiao Li always saved a couple of bites for him. Crow even laid in his lap a few times, sleeping.

I left breakfast, returning to my room to pick out an outfit for the day. While I had bought additional outfits in the capital city, I only really had two "styles." Fancy and less fancy. Both were actually prioritised with how easy it would be to move in them, though, as I skipped anything that I couldn't run away from someone in, if necessary.

I picked a silk Hanfu-style dress that was coloured in pastels, pinks and very light violets, including a pair of soft embroidered slippers. This one was a bit expensive—the dyes for these colours were an imported product, so it was on the fancier side. But it was also a change of pace for my usual outfits which were more in dark and light blues.

I made sure to strap my cursed sword onto my waist because it was very unusual for a lady displaying as much wealth as I did to travel alone. 

Where were my servants and guards? Also, my hair colour was unusual, my ears were pointy, and my eyes coloured brightly and round. I stood out like a sore thumb, in other words.

I had gotten stopped and questioned before, but if I walked around conspicuously armed, then it was more evident that I was a cultivator or at least a Martial Artist, and not only would I not be bothered, but most everyone, including ne'er-do-wells, would give me a wide berth.

I used Flutter Steps to glide, bounce and jump my way through crowds of people on the streets today, being careful enough with my skirts not to flash anybody, which was kind of difficult. 

This was an even better way to ensure I wasn't mistaken as a lost young mistress and detained for my own safety, as the footwork technique was clearly supernatural even when I had only mastered it to a moderate degree. 

I could literally jump onto the roof of a single-story building in one bound or run across the side of the building as if I didn't weigh anything, and I had an almost built-in feather fall spell effect while I was using the technique, so it was quite useful, I thought. I was already at the level of the Kung Fu masters that I had seen in films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. This told me that those types of tricks, ultimately, were nothing, so I didn't want to overestimate myself.

It tickled me quite a bit when young kids would stare and point at me, tugging their parent's sleeves and calling out at the "Fairy", so I didn't mind showing off a bit even if I was still as weak as I could be. 

A Golden Core cultivator was equivalent to a tactical nuke in power and, if left alone, could flatten entire areas of this enormous city or the whole thing if they had enough time and weren't stopped. A Foundation Establishment cultivator was at least at the level of a main battle tank platoon. As for me? I could run on walls. I couldn't even cast Fireball yet, so I didn't have an outsize opinion of my own capabilities. 

Humming, I realised that it was unusually crowded today, and there appeared to be an exuberant mood. I wasn't going in any particular direction, just sort of in the general direction of where my familiar was. 

I fluttered down from the side of a wall in front of a middle-aged man manning a cart selling aromatic meat kebabs. The man's eyes went wide, and he said, "Fairy Miss! Uhh... kebab? For you, it's free!" 

I raised my eyebrows at the offered kebab, but even though I had eaten breakfast, I could eat again. The energy a cultivator's body uses wasn't entirely supernatural. It was normal for me to eat the equivalent of six or seven thousand calories a day. I generally didn't eat regular food in large amounts anymore, but these did smell good. I took the kebab and asked, "Why is there a celebration?"

Rather than let him give it to me for free, I pulled out one of the few silver taels I had and dropped it into his hands. His wide-eyed grin told me I vastly overpaid, but I didn't actually have any specie of lower value. He grinned, "News from the front! On the Emperor's orders, the armies attacked and destroyed the seat of the rebellion, the former capital of the Yong province."

"A coup de main, eh?" I used the French words out of habit, which got a confused look at the foreign-sounding words. I took a bite out of the kebab and found the meat spiced quite well, and surprisingly tender. 

As for whether this was good news or bad news, it depended on what kind of rebellion this was. This was either the end of it or the beginning of the end, though, unless it was just propaganda that I was hearing.

I didn't have any dog in this fight, so I was fundamentally on the side of those who would end the war with the fewest casualties and the least hardship to the people at large. 

From my perspective, if the empire won, then the Emperor would remain in power, and if the rebels won then there would be a new emperor. Nothing else would change. It wasn't as though one side was fighting for democracy or something.

Although, and this might be surprising for a once red-blooded American, I wasn't even a fan of democracy in the first place. Perhaps that was Merildwen's opinions and memories colouring my own to a degree, but I felt that gang rape was the purest expression of total democracy. 

The desires of the majority had to be restrained enough to protect an individual. And that was a lot of restraint, so you'd only ever end up with something "democracy-ish" in the first place.

It made me wonder how Merildwen's plans for becoming the semi-benevolent dictator of Earth were progressing. I wished her well. I think she would make a good Queen of the world, mainly because she probably had no real desire to do it. She was just worried about incompetent people near the levers of power when she discovered how powerful nuclear weapons were, so she figured she'd have to take over just for her own long-term self-preservation.

As for this war, though? On the one hand, I had seen signs of repressive tactics here in the capital, but on the other hand, I had direct evidence that mass-murdering demonic cultivators worked with the rebels, or at least they thought they were working with the rebels.

I shrugged. It didn't affect me, except that perhaps I wouldn't need to fix the plumbing the next time if all the plumbers and handymen weren't drafted to build siege engines or whatever an ancient Army would force somewhat educated tradesmen to do. I didn't even know how the presence of cultivators in the Army would change things. Would catapults and other siege engines still be useful?

"Do you like it?" the man asked, looking at my quarter-eaten kebab. I had been nibbling on it in silence for a minute or two while my mind wandered.

I considered that and nodded, "The spice is done just right, I think." It had a bit of an Indian curry-like flavour, quite strong with paprika and cinnamon. I liked it. And with that, I slowly started walking away.

I didn't get ten metres before the man started bellowing, "Best rat! Fairy-approved rat! BEST RAT IN TONG DISTRICT!"

I instantly stopped chewing and caused a small handkerchief to appear in my hand so I could spit the piece of meat I was eating into it. I then casually dropped both the handkerchief and the half-eaten kebab into the first wooden-barreled trash receptacle that I saw. 

To wash my mouth out, I took several large swigs of an apple-cider-like juice drink that I kept with me as well before glancing left and right and running away before anyone could see me and associate me with the rat kebab cart.

I wasn't sure why I was having this reaction because it really was a delicious rat.

---xxxxxx---

I was close enough to Crow now that I could somewhat triangulate where he was and get an idea of the rough distance, and my deductions left a bad taste in my mouth. He appeared to be in the large Buddhist temple that was taking up an entire block.

A semi-spontaneous carnival had begun in the streets right next to it, and there were a group of lay brothers scowling at the acts. One of them was mean-mugging a comedy act so much that I couldn't help it; as soon as I got within range, I quietly cast Hideous Laughter on the man. I timed it perfectly, so he instantly fell over laughing just as the comedy act said the punchline.

The comic looked shocked and then smirked as if he realised his hidden comedic talents. The monk's compatriots hurried over to him but couldn't quite tell if anything was wrong besides the fact that it was likely extremely out of character for the sourpuss. 

I verified that these gentlemen weren't cultivators of any sort before I did this, but I still darted away at my max speed as soon as I finished casting, giggling.

I wanted to get Xiao Li to come back with me before confronting the Buddhists to get my cat back. Not only was he stronger than me and would be helpful, but he had the devil's own luck. Seeing the Buddhist temple also reminded me that I had completely forgotten about the ghost I had in my amulet. Look... it had been busy when we first arrived, alright? I would have remembered soon. It was just luck that the incipient ghost took five "slots" in my amulet. 

If it had taken six, then I wouldn't have been able to store all three of my shadows along with it and would have immediately looked for some way to get rid of it.

"Sure, let me take a quick shower, and then we can head over. Buddhists can be a bit prickly, but I'm sure it will be fine," Xiao Li said. I nodded and waited. It would be the simplest and safest to just unsummon Crow, but even if I did it rapidly, I might still get a new Crow back. I wasn't willing to take enormous risks for the tormented soul, but I would at least talk to some Buddhists for him.

"Amitābha, celebrators, but the temple is not open to the general public," one of the lay brothers said when we attempted to walk through the gates. I assumed they had some issues with the carnival-goers wandering about.

I nodded, "We're not here celebrating. We'd like to speak with someone in charge."

He frowned, "I'm not sure if that will be possible. But you are welcome to inquire inside the main temple. Someone should be able to help you there."

Before we entered, I called the three Shadows back into my amulet. Then, as we walked past him and got closer to the temple, I finally reached the hundred feet necessary to see out of Crow's eyes and mentally communicate with him.

My lips twitched. He was trapped in a bamboo cage, and there was a group of monks chanting sutras at him. He begged me to help free him from this place, yowling pitifully—this just caused the monks to think that they were making progress, and their chantings redoubled.

"How can I help you, Daoist visitors?" one monk asked. This guy was a cultivator but was only in the first level of Qi gathering. Still, while he probably couldn't detect our cultivation exactly, he would be able to tell what we were.

I pointed the exact direction where Crow was, inside the temple, blocked by one of the walls and said, "I came here to get my cat back. He's black, with green eyes."

This caused the young man to widen his eyes before saying, "Visitors, please wait here. I will get the abbess."

A nun was the leader of this temple? I arched an eyebrow, Xiao Li doing the same. He had recently stolen that gesture from me, as he said he considered it very evocative. It wasn't as though there weren't any female Buddhists, but there weren't a lot.

We didn't have to wait too long. A middle-aged woman with a bald head and a slightly different colour of kasaya approached us, smiling beatifically. "Amitābha, Alms givers. Brother Zhong mentioned you were here about the... cat."

I couldn't quite get a read on her cultivation, but she felt just a little bit weaker than Liu Ruxue was, so I figured if she was in the Foundation realm, then it was the very beginning. She stared at me head-on and said firmly, "You do realise it is not a cat, yes?"

"Yes. Let me be more specific: please return my tormented soul that is in the shape of a cat, please," I said, but still respectfully.

She didn't stop smiling but said, "I don't think that's a very good idea. Such things shouldn't be out in the world."

I sighed, "It's not a ghost, not in the sense that you can do anything about it. You can't put it to rest because it's already been judged. It isn't a preta ghost like that. It's just awaiting dispensation of its sentence and reincarnation now. If your goal is to reduce overall suffering, if you refuse to give it back to me, I will have to just send it back to Hell, and you'll be causing increased suffering."

"That sounds like sophistry," the abbess said musingly, but she seemed to be considering it. 

"It literally can not do anybody any harm, from what I can understand," Xiao Li popped up.

Finally, she sighed, "It's not like I didn't recognise it. I did tell the others that chanting at the thing wouldn't lay it to rest, but they've increased their diligence and capabilities a lot just in the last few days trying, so it's a shame to see it go." She looked at us both and said, "You both seem wise for your age. Are you interested in joining Buddhism?"

Xiao Li coughed and said, "Uh... sorry, ma'am. But I still have ambitions to lose my virginity in the future and cannot become a monk." The nun just smiled, nodded at him, and turned to me.

I sniffed, "Pleasures of the flesh would only slow the speed at which I draw my sword."

The nun widened her eyes as if what I had said was profound and looked hopeful. Xiao Li widened his eyes, too, but his expression was more disbelief that I could make such a bald-faced lie in front of a nun. He knew where I spent my free time, after all.

"Still, I am not interested in changing my religion. I'm sorry," I finished.

Xiao Li asked, "You have a religion?"

"Sort of. We don't proselytise, for which you can be grateful," I said mysteriously.

The abbess sighed and nodded, "I'll go and get your ... cat."

I held up a hand, "I do have another ghost you can actually put to rest, though."

She raised an eyebrow at me, "That's a little bit unusual. Perhaps I misjudged that type of Dao that you walk down."

"I don't think you did. However, we came across a slaughtered village while approaching the capital. I don't have any desire to use the ghost of a poor village girl. It would be better if she could return to Samsara, but I don't really have any way to get rid of the resentment she had. I just had the capability to chain her and put her in stasis," I explained, spreading my hands as if to show my inability.

Ghosts of evil people and my enemies, I would use every day. But she had barely been ten years old. It would be much better if she just reincarnated as a human rather than stay as a malevolent spirit. She might never make it back to humanity if she did that.

The nun nodded slowly and said, "I see. Well, go ahead, you can bring her out."

"She's quite murderous," I warned.

The nun smiled and said, "Amitābha, Alms giver, that you worry about my safety. It is kind but a bit naive."

I shrugged, drew the ghost out of my amulet, and plopped her down right in front of the nun.

She sniffed once and then did a delicate princess stomp, causing an explosion of purifying yang energy to explode out from her sandal, encompassing the ghost and, to a much lesser extent, both me and Xiao Li. Xiao Li didn't seem to be affected, but it gave me a slight headache and the uncomfortable feeling of needing to sneeze without actually being able to.

The ravenous ghost, though, was instantly purified. In its place was the translucent outline of a little girl, who held up her hands in thanks and seemed to be talking, although she was inaudible. The little ghost girl faded and disappeared shortly thereafter.

I swallowed a bit, as I think I may have misjudged this nun's relative strength. She smiled at me knowingly and said, "You did a good thing today."

After my cat was released, we walked back down the path to leave the temple; I tossed a handful of golden taels into the donation box.

"Women just slow the speed at which I draw my sword," Xiao Li said in a fake-serious tone, obviously teasing me.

I growled, "Shut up." 

"No. I'm going to steal that line," he claimed.

I tilted my head to the side, "I thought you were after a girlfriend."

"I am. But before I get one, I can say this, and it sounds really profound. After I get one, I won't say it anymore. Unless she dumps me," he explained his strategy.

---xxxxxx---

In a well-lit office, a slightly pudgy man slumped into a comfortable chair behind his desk and said ominously, "Find out what has changed with the little Emperor. A victorious war does not help our cause; we need a never-ending one."

"Yes, sir!" an invisible man yelled before departing.