Holy Water Doesn't Hurt

Jack's flaming eyes looked to the left in his room and found Leslie sitting in a chair working on paperwork at his desk. She was sitting in his large chair at his desk, and it made her look small in comparison.

Jack was shocked for only a second before he chuckled, holding his little consort in his arms. He turned her around like a teddy bear to face Leslie, and spoke, "There is your sister. Go ahead and tell her what you just told me."

Emily stared deeply at Leslie, who smiled in reply, "And what is that dear sister?"

"…Ah...Ah..." Emily stuttered her words.

Jack found that she wasn't quite as bold in front of Leslie as she was with him alone, so he took her from his arms, and put her back in the tomb, as he spoke, "I see that you're still a little tired from Our time together. Rest more."

After being placed within the tomb, Emily gazed into Jack's flaming eyes as they burned with a soothing light, and for the first time, she felt that he was being gentle to her. She felt from this gentleness that he had accepted her and made her feel warm, a rare feeling... She found that his words were true; she did feel very tired.

Emily hit the mechanism and tomb's lid slide into place, as she went to sleep.

Jack turned around to look at the strange gaze of Leslie.

"What???" Jack asked.

"So, reaping with a woman is all that is needed to gain your favor?" Leslie asked in an odd tone.

"..." Jack felt like he could sweat on his brow, though he knew he wouldn't. Wasn't this the same feeling as being caught with another woman??? He did this out in the open! He didn't do this behind her back, at all!

Leslie stood up from the large chair, as she crossed the room, and stood in front of Jack, as she leaned into him to stare into his flaming eyes.

"You smell like her," Leslie said simply.

After a brief pause, a thought struck Jack, "...Wait just a damn moment... She expected you to be in that tomb... You two sleep together, and you are going to say I smell like her?" Jack caught onto something he thought of but didn't question earlier.

"We never did anything like what you and she did... I'm not into girls like that... Unless you want me to be." Leslie said with undertones.

"You know what... Nope! I'm not into that... Nope... Not at all... I am not going to come home to find you two keeping each other company and decide you like it better than me! I'm not that kind of guy." Jack shook his head as if he was rattling a can on top of his shoulders.

Leslie giggled incisively, "I thought all guys liked that kind of thing! How rare! How, truly, rare!"

"Not this one!"

Jack had been gotten a bad ending in too many gal games, for this kind of reason.

Leslie then giggled again, "Do you know I talked to my mother earlier today."

"How is Jade... I've missed her company." Jack asked.

"First name basis, I see... Now I know why she misses you so..." Leslie said again in that strange tone.

"I think there is something I'm missing here." Jack finally acknowledged.

"She wants to see you... Jack... I don't mind if you have other wives, but my own mother?" Leslie's eyes turned into crescent moons, but this smiling face gave Jack a strange chill.

"Honey, I swear to, uh... I swear to myself! I haven't touched your mother. If I had, I would tell you!" Jack felt pressured.

"MMmmmmm... Okay."

Jack was astonished to see Leslie agree so easily.

"I'd prefer if my Mother didn't share our tomb, but I guess I don't have a final say so..." Leslie spoke, as she made some mental messages in her mind.

"I'm sure your mother has nothing like that on her mind, and I don't have any plans to do anything with her." Jack put it bluntly.

"You know, my love, for someone so smart, you're very dense... Haaaa~ That's why I'm worried." Leslie sighed.

"Okay... I'm not going to deny being dense, but you talk like your mother is into me." Jack turned his head to deny his charges.

"Alright, I'm not going to be funny, but truth is... She is really into you. In fact, I thought you two already reaped together." Leslie put her hands on her hips while talking harshly.

"I used to talk to her on the trip back almost every day, and I talked mostly about you. She asked a lot about you, but then again... When she didn't ask about you, she was asking about me. Not like I can remember anything..." Jack looked up and spoke while in thought.

"Well, I'd like for you to not encourage her, if at all possible, as a favor to me. Just don't hurt her feelings, but if you can't I understand." Leslie finally asked softly.

Jack took a few steps to pull Leslie into his embrace, "I understand. I'm not that big of a beast I can't spare a lady. You act as though I'm going to go eat her up, just as soon as I see her."

"Jack, your kind of a pushover when it comes to ladies... Your tomb is currently filled with a princess from a former enemy nation. The same nation that drove you into entombment, where you died might I add, for a thousand years.

"...Alliances change a lot..."

"I know... It's also why I'm not opposed to you having more than one woman. Political marriages are a thing." Leslie sighed, as she held on to Jack.

"Did she say what she wanted?" Jack decided to get the hell away from this topic.

"No. She didn't say and wouldn't tell me how much I asked." Leslie shook her head. "On another note, I thought I told you to go easy on her... It's been two days." Leslie changed her train of thought.

"I... Uh..."

"Her cultivation isn't as high as mine, so her soul isn't going to have as much stamina as mine. The poor thing looked like she was going to fall apart." Leslie chastised him.

Jack rubbed the back of his bald skull, "I might have got too carried away."

"...What did she need to tell me?" Leslie asked.

"I'll leave that for her to tell you."

"So enigmatic. Doesn't sound like I am going to be happy." Leslie smiled this time that was refreshing, and it eased Jack's mind.

A knock on the door sounded, and Leslie quickly moved to it to answer. A few of her Hand Maidens brought in a basin of water, and clean linen clothes. Then more Hand Maidens came in and surrounded Jack, as they reached out for his ropes.

[Oh, no...]

Soon he was stripped of his attire, and they took away his garbs only leaving him bare bones.

The Hand Maidens bowed to both Jack and Leslie and then left, as quickly as they came.

Jack stared at the basin of water... It was at that time.

Leslie got down on her knees, and beckoned Jack over, "Come now. You know it's been a long time since your last bath." She smiled brightly. Jack could tell she enjoyed this the most.

Jack mentally sighed and decided not to fight it. He walked over and put one foot into the tub. He slipped it into the water. The water began to boil as usual, but... It didn't hurt.

[?!?!] Jack didn't understand. He got completely into the, now boiling, holy water to find that while it rolled, it didn't cause him to feel pain.

[Why... Why is this???] Jack thought to himself, he would have to experiment later!

Leslie picked up her linen cloth, as she soaked it into the holy water, and caused her pain on her bony hands. She then began to clean Jack with familiarity.

As she cleaned, she asked, "What do you plan to do today, my love?"

Jack thought for a moment, and asked something on his mind, "You know... It's been a long time until today you called me 'My love...' Why the sudden endearment?"

Leslie smiled, as she began to clean his ribcage, "I recently had a little chat with a... Friend, and I remembered just how much I love you."

"It's good to be loved, but don't love me too much, ahaha" Jack laughed.

"You joke about it, but it's true. Now stop sloshing the holy water, I don't want to get it on the rest of me." Leslie reprimanded.

Jack stilled himself again, as Leslie continued to work, as he began to speak again, "I need to see Boss Crag. See if he completed what I wanted, and I need to get with Lucius. I really need to iron out this God-King business."

"Boss Crag completely took over the South Eastern Undead Trading Company a few weeks ago. He is now the true CEO, and both Co-CEOs George and his business partner, are taking the second-highest position in the company. I don't know how he managed to do that, but he has my respect." Leslie replied.

Jack was shocked, but for only a moment, when realized that Leslie was basically the CIA or KGB... Of course, she knew.

"That's good. A lot of my future plans hinge on this task. I feel rest assured now, thank you for letting me know."

"Do I need to be thanked for this?" Leslie said with a smile, as she began to clean Jack's spine.

Jack didn't say anything but nodded his head a few times. It did go without saying.

Leslie again spoke, "Let me ask this time, what do you mean God-King business?"

"I might joke, but I shouldn't really be called a god," Jack spoke openly.

"Why?" Leslie paused her cleaning and came to the front of Jack to continue on his hip bones.

"Well... I mean, I'm not god-like."

Leslie, now actually, stopped her washing of Jack, as she looked deeply into the flame eyes of Jack.

"And where is that coming from?"

"Don't you think so?" Jack asked.

"No... If anything, everything I've seen says that you are... I don't understand why you don't think so, especially when I hear you rocking the entire underworld with your voice claiming, 'you are the God-King.'"

"That was just to scare Jakahn."

"I don't think you understand just how many people worship you as a god," Leslie spoke.

"Actually, that would be about one hundred and seventy-eight thousand four hundred and two undead."

Leslie's expression slackened for a moment, before it recovered, "That's a pretty specific number.

Jack tapped on the side of his skull with his right hand, producing a thud noise, "Everyone of their voices are in my head from every one of them that prays. There was even one guy that wanted a couch. His name's Herraclitus Crossett and all he wants is a couch. Pretty funny fellow spends a lot of his time reading. I assume he wishes to read while sitting on a new couch. Lives in Nogore, by the way." Jack shrugs.

"So... So, you know all this because he prayed to you, and along with him and every other undead are all in your head, all the time?"

"Pretty much." Jack nodded.

"How does that not turn you batty?"

"I have to continually suppress the voices or they give me a mind-shattering headache."

"And you say you're not a god... That sounds pretty damn god-like to me." Leslie picked up another cleaning cloth, and dipped it into the holy water, to continue cleaning Jack.

"If you say so..." Jack said wearily.

"Alright darling, let's play this game," Leslie spoke, after a moment of thought.

"MMmm?"

"Let's say you get with Lucius, and hand orders on high that you are not a god, and you are not a divine being... You forbid everyone from worshipping you, and so forth... What do you think will happen?"

"I'll lose my prayers, at most." While Jack thought to himself, [And the power that comes with it, but at least I won't have the damn voices in my head.]

"I don't think you have thought this through! You will split the kingdom. There are going to be undead that worships you regardless, and then you will punish them. You will punish them for believing in you! That's nonsense! These undead are willing to put faith in you, and then you turn around and slap their faces, foolish! Even if you aren't a god... Let them believe it! Unify them with their faith, and honestly, from what I've seen I will say it again... You are a god! I saw you loom over the lands and move things around like chess pieces! You back handed a city... That's crap that only happens in old legends concerning gods. So, tell me, Jack... Are you a god or not?" Leslie finished cleaning Jack's leg bones and feet, as she pulled back and propped her hands on her hips.